share some short funny Jokes

[Stinkweed]

Anybody would like to share short jokes that are really really hilarious and don't require to think much? Cause I dunno that many of those... Most of the ones I know are like long and/or require to reason or are funny just for some ppl, so some ppl don't get them or get bored and it's embarrassing in the end... I know a short one that's hilarious (to some ppl, cause others have given a different type of reaction and think it's gross or whatever, lol), but I can't say it cause there might be very religious ppl around... Anyway, share your good short jokes plz. Don't be selfish, lol. Peace.

[easyguy]

The only jokes that I know to be universally funny are blonde jokes. Even blondes find them funny.

 

Such as...

 

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?

A: Air Pockets

[DiscipleOfChange]

Because I'm jewish, I know this funny and don't feel bad telling it:

 

"Two Jewish guys walk into a bar...........and buy it."

 

Here's another: (ask this jokingly/light-heartedly) How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

Answer: (say this fairly quickly after asking with a dead-serious face)

That's not funny

 

Here's another: What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer

 

A: The rooster clucks defiance (if you don't get it, think about what "defiance might sound like when related with lawyers)

[MetallicAguy]

Well here's a good blonde joke lol it can be anything having to do with being lazy like for example here I'm going to use homework.

 

Girl: "Ughhh, I don't want to do my homework"

Guy: "That's not an excuse just because your blonde" lol, it's great. That's actually a tease but whatever, still funny . And then you can play back and forth with it and have a fun conversation.

 

I have some other jokes...there good I don't know if anyone would get offended so I'm not posting them, you can PM for them if you'd like (no there not racist or anything like that).

[easyguy]

I've noticed on Jay Leno's tonight show, that when ever he is interviewing a young actress, he always manages to tease a little. Like a couple weeks ago he had Jessica Simpson on, and they were about to show the short video clip of a scene from Dukes of Hazzard, so Jessica goes:

 

"Oh I'm so exited, I've never done this before!"

 

and Leno replies with, "Girls, that's what they all they."

[ShySoul]

Blond jokes aren't funny. The make no sense cause its all based on a silly stereotype that has no real basis. The real funny jokes are the ones that make you think or the ones that come from no where and no one expects. Actually prepared jokes lack in amusment because they can come off rehearsed and contrived to get into the conversation. Real funny humor is about taking the conversation and being able to twist something side into something amusing.

 

1. Where are all men equally good looking? The dark.

[easyguy]

Blond jokes aren't funny. The make no sense cause its all based on a silly stereotype that has no real basis. The real funny jokes are the ones that make you think or the ones that come from no where and no one expects. Actually prepared jokes lack in amusment because they can come off rehearsed and contrived to get into the conversation. Real funny humor is about taking the conversation and being able to twist something side into something amusing.

 

1. Where are all men equally good looking? The dark.

 

I find blonde jokes funny, as do a lot of people, even blondes (it's only when you get into race that it becomes risky territory). They're funny to most people because it's so stupid that it makes you laugh. Some people like yourself, on the other hand, who is far more mature than the average young 20something male, find humor in jokes that make you think. And that's alright, but there are going to be more people that you run into in life that find the obvious ones (especially the story ones) more funny, because it takes them a split second to get after they hear the punchline. The funniest ones are the short stories.

 

See, I don't find your joke that funny. I get it, but it didn't make me laugh. Only a slight grin, only because it was remotely cheesy. It needs a better punchline to make it laughable.

[ShySoul]

It's not even really a joke, it's a statement, and a true one at that.

 

Ok, that just shows my point. That was funny. By adding in the part about it being true, you made a joke yourself that brought a chuckle to me. It wasn't planned or prepared, you just took what was handed to you and made a joke out of it. That's wit. Anyone can grab a jokebook and say them. But when you can develop a quick wit, thats when you are really funny.

 

And yes, the joke was stupid. It was the first one I thought of that didn't require thought and was a one liner. Most jokes like that are stupid. I'll look for something a bit better.

[easyguy]

Here's a good one:

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

 

Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

 

Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

 

---

 

See, I wouldn't tell it in a conversation. The ones that are truly funny are ones that make fun of something that you are doing at that present time, in your environment, not the past or the future. Yes, it does require wit, but it does not require a question and an answer. Sometimes the funniest ones are a comment made by someone. These are sometimes referred to as "inside jokes".

[ShySoul]

See, I wouldn't tell it in a conversation. The ones that are truly funny are ones that make fun of something that you are doing at that present time, in your environment, not the past or the future. Yes, it does require wit, but it does not require a question and an answer. Sometimes the funniest ones are a comment made by someone. These are sometimes referred to as "inside jokes".

 

Precisely Watson. Elementary, really it is. Funny jokes are not planned, they come to you in the moment. But it doesn't even have to be about making fun of something, it can be something completely off the wall. Perhaps its cause I like acting, but I tend to amuse people simple by dramatizing some simple small point. I'm not making fun of it, I could even be complimenting. But the fact that I overdo it makes it amusing. I'll put on a funny accent for no reason at all.

 

Bottom line, you can't script a joke something that is truly funny. It's all about that improve stuff, let the laughter flow naturally.

[Stinkweed]

I don't like stereotyping either, but some ppl don't care... And I think it's funny. I just don't take those things seriously. Like that movie "guess who?" when the guy starts telling black jokes. I thought they were funny, but I didn't take those things seriously. But say, when I heard this one:

"what do you call a blonde who dyed her hair black?

 

Artificial intelligence"

 

I did find it funny. Not that i believe it, but it's still funny man. I dunno if this one's appropiate, but I thought it was hilarious:

 

"What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

 

The zit wait's till you're 12 to come on your face"

 

I know the funniest jokes are not planned. But I still would like to know some jokes so I can share with my friends. All of these I've read have been pretty good. Any others?

[Cynder]

What do boobs and remote control cars have in common?

They are meant for the kids but dad always ends up playing with them.

 

I decided to put in a skylight last summer. The people who live above me are furious.

[Markers]

(Usually two females speaking)

 

Q do you think men are so eager to have sex?

 

A: Because then they're connected to larger source of information.