Saying "I love you"..

[katefl24]

Okay, here's the situation: I've been with my boyfriend just over a year. He moved in with me four months ago (at first, was going to be temporary but we've since decided to continue it) and everything is great.

 

I'm completely in love with him, and I think he feels the same way. His actions say so, other people notice and call us "lovebirds", very affectionate, everything I could want. The problem? Neither of us has actually said "I love you." I've nearly said it a bunch of times, it's always right at the tip of my tongue but I'm still scared of the awkwardness/being first/etc. In fact I MAY have said it once even but I'm not sure. (I know that must sound weird, so here's the explanation: I was just about to fall asleep in his arms and sometimes at that point I get really groggy and "out of it". So I think I said, "I love you" and remember thinking to myself oh no! but figured 1) he might be asleep and not heard or 2) he would dismiss it as me being sleepy. He said, "I love you too" and I remember thinking how silly it was that I even doubted he would say it back. But all of that may have been a dream, that's how out of it I get at that right-about-to-fall-asleep moment.)

 

Is it weird that we haven't said "I love you" by now? I find myself saying all kinds of other three word terms of endearment (you're so sweet, you're so cute, etc..) and I think they are kind of substitutes for the big 3 words. He does too, for that matter. I've always been extremely nervous with him because of how much I like him, and he knows that, but I can't seem to get over the nerves! It's always been a problem for me, I was a nervous wreck when we had to discuss his moving in and it took me until the last minute to finally discuss/offer.

 

Another thing: we are going to Mexico soon for our first real vacation together, to an incredibly romantic resort, all of which was his idea. Some people from my work have said, "He's going to propose to you," but I doubt that since we haven't even said I love you. Although we have discussed our future, kids, talk about things "when we're forty" etc. indicating we are both on the same page with eventually wanting that. Anyway I pretty much dismissed it until recently, but then we had an odd conversation wherein he mentioned him going to see my dad – without me. That struck me as really weird, it has never happened and I don't know why he would want to do that! But still, he couldn't be thinking of proposing before "I love you" is said right?

 

Sorry this is long and thanks for the advice.

[DN]

Try saying it really casually as if you have been saying it back and forth for some time. For instance - when you leave for work. Kiss him good bye, say "See you, later - love you".

[lauriecat]

hmm some guys feel they need to ask the parents for permission to marry their daugher...... could that be why he wanted to see him?

[katefl24]

That's what I was thinking, expecially since two of his best firends are getting married soon and both asked their dads. I was present when they were talking about how nerve wracking it is to ask, but something you have to do...Still I don't really think that could be it.

 

I'm more concerned with getting past the I love you barrier...

[Tigris]

I agree I think he's going to ask your Dad if he can marry you.

 

The 3 little words. Well it's always been up to me to say it first.

 

I hope everything works out for you and he proposes soon.

 

Good luck and take care.