im so unsure of this girl

[t-rav]

hey guys,

im really uncertain about what to do. there is this really cute girl who is in 8th grade this year, im a freshman. i dont know like what to say to her. should i try to sit next to her sometime at a game? i almost never see her but when i do, all systems are go (if you know what i mean). she is really nice and i would really like to get to know her better. im afraid to try to get her attention, because whenever itry that, i always look like a fool. someone help me out here.

 

-travis

[easyguy]

t-rav,

 

Do you have any classes with her?

 

If she doesn't know you, introduce yourself. You don't need to be all formal about it, especially at your age. Something as simple as "Hey, I'm (name), how's it going?" works. And she will most likely introduce her self, and answer your question.

 

You say you could sit next to her at a game. Talk about the game. Ask her if she does any sports, what's it like. Venture into school stuff, like her classes, and what she likes to do. Get to know her a little bit at a time. And whatever you do, do not turn it into an interview. Just make casual conversation with her. Really listen to what she says, and take her hints and go into detail. If you pay attention to what she's saying, then you could talk for a while. That is, of course, if she's in the talkative mood (who isn't?).

 

If you see her in class, possibly ask her for the homework problems or whatever. Do silly stuff like that to get her talking to you, even if it isn't on a personal level. Eventually she will feel comfortable around you. As you gradually get to know her, start flirting with her. If she reciprocates, then it's a good sign that she likes you (in 9 out of 10 cases). Don't get into sexual stuff early on. It might make her feel uncomfortable around you, and she will most likely take notice that you are after her just for sex. Be her friend first. As you get to know her, also, you will found out if she's single or not.

 

Most importantly, be yourself around her. Don't try and impress her or anything. Smile, send off good vibes, be welcoming. And if you don't have it already, build up the confidence around her, and learn to not care what she thinks about you. You are who you are, and if she doesn't like you, then that's her problem, right?

[BillyJean714]

This might work:

 

Day One- A simple smile and a hello would do.

 

Day Five- Say Hi again, then introduce yourself. Ask her how she's doing and what grade she's in. Keep it short. Don't pursue her too much at this point because it might scare her off.

 

Day Eight- Say what's up again. Engage in small talk. Offer to walk her to class.

 

Day Fifteen- Talk to her again. Offer to carry her books and open her door.

 

Teenage crushes are so cute! Anyway, follow my advice, and I'm sure that she will be aware of your interest in her. Besides that, the subtle approach is enough to add mystery. If she likes you the same, then cool. Think of Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. If you like her that much, bake her a cake, and ask her out to a school dance. Hope this helps!

[Markers]

don't carry her books, don't open the door unless you can make it really casual. I'd say, don't carry her books, no matter what because it looks just plain needy. Books aren't that heavy, if it was something heavier stuff, then you could do it because it'd show you've got strength.. or something..

 

Open the door though, just casual, don't expect anything. Don't make cheesy smile or anything lol when you open it. Your expression must not change when you open the door for her, otherwise you come off as needy and that's a turn off.

[randy]

make eye contact , smile , start a convo then take it from there ( introduce yourself as the first part of the convo )

 

and with the carrying the books opening the door . Don't carry her books or anything like that . . . to soon for that . With opening the door . For sure , don't go out of your way to open the door or it looks fake .

[BillyJean714]

don't carry her books, don't open the door unless you can make it really casual. I'd say, don't carry her books, no matter what because it looks just plain needy. Books aren't that heavy, if it was something heavier stuff, then you could do it because it'd show you've got strength.. or something..

 

Open the door though, just casual, don't expect anything. Don't make cheesy smile or anything lol when you open it. Your expression must not change when you open the door for her, otherwise you come off as needy and that's a turn off.

Okay, how's this as an alternative? "Walk around, like a jerk. Yeah, that's right. That'll getcha goin! Acknowledge her, don't pay much attention to her. Open her door once in a while. Oh, and lets not forget, do it with a frown! (Me TARZAN, "GRRRRR"!!! lol. Yes! If you want to look mysterious: wear SUPER tight pants and walk around constipated. Act very aloof. Don't forget to put on that puppy dog look. Hopefully, a girl will eventually come along her way, and cradle you into her busomes away from the life of a bad boy! Right. Oh, and don't forget, you musn't forget, this is all about pride, you must NEVER show a girl how much she's worth!" lol.

 

Carrying her books and opening her door is okay! Take it from a lady who's been woo'd by a true gentleman before, and who's already seen enough nice guys pull bad boy tactics on her and her friends. Where did it land them? Nowhere. I hate to break it to you people, but not every girl likes bad boys. We don't like needyness either. By defintion, a Real Man is a man who isn't afraid to be himself! Even if it means that he chooses to court a person romantically, he choses to do so, because he's not afraid of being a TRUE gentleman, and that's what makes a man a real stud!

 

But, I do know where you guys are coming from though. Just don't try too hard by not being yourselves, because a girl who's had experience can easily sense it and translate that kind of facade as insecurity- hence, neediness. It's guys who are insecure who take advice from books written by men who think that they're Gods gift to women, who are afraid to be themselves that don't get a chance. See where it lands you. If you don't want to take advice from countless ladies who feel the way I do, then fine. You can take advice from authors who think that they're God's gift to women. They are only out there to sell tricks and gimmics that can't even they can't prove to themsevles. Maybe it's their calling to try to be a pimp, because they never were one to begin with! So don't fool yourselves thinking that whatever they're saying as the Messiah's word. It's cheap literature that unfortunately, too many nice guys fall for. I sense that those authors were pathetic cowards- losers, who often act like drunk neanderthals in the bar/club scenes. It's surprises me how men always want to look for the answers in finding ways to get the right girl, and when a woman voices her opinions, it's invalid. Yet, she knows what she's talking about because she's a woman herself! Oh brother! *shrugs* But hey, Good Luck!

[inspiration]

swing for the fences...

[MetallicAguy]

Engage in small talk. Offer to walk her to class.

 

Offer to carry her books and open her door.

I don't want to argue with you here, but to me it just sounds like this test that women do; it's the supplication test, if you fall for it your screwed. It's like what the girls with a lot of attitude do, at lunch there like "Can you buy my a Coke? Pleassee" with a face that you can't resist (for most guys they can't lol) and then you do it and your an idiot for doing it and then there like "Awww Thank you!" and smiling and **** what it really means is "Thanks for being my personal ATM! ", I know I've fell into the supplication trap a few times [slaps self].

 

If your interested in the girl, take small steps, then progress to small talk for a week or so (a week to a month) then ask her out. I don't see what's so hard about doing that compared to being kiss ***. If some girls like that whatever [shrugs] must be a little percentage. Sure, it's not bad to be a charming guy but carrying books and offering to do things like that to me just sounds kiss ***. And I'm not arguing or anything BillyJean. It just doesn't sound right to me lol.

[JRM]

MetallicaGuy appearently almost quotes David DeAngelou, but he's right on most levels. Don't offer to carry her books (nowa days, thats kinda weird and creepy), but its fine to open the door for her. It's a nice chivalrous thing to do. Hell, I do it all the time, even with girls who are just friends. Thing is to be a nice, considerate person, but not need a girl to baby-sit you and make you feel loved everytime you give up your masculinity for her.

 

 

 

 

We aren't saying he should be a complete jerk, BillyJean. It's fine to be a gentleman, I ecourage it. But it isn't good to be a competely prude, dependant guy, either. Would you like a man who lived only to please you, who had little enough dignity to be taken advantage of by any attractice woman?

 

I don't know everything about other guys here, but i enforce being a strong, self depenant dater because it tends to filter in the girls who are actually interesting to be around and are fun enough to get into debates and arguments with. A girl who I can much around with and still enjoy time with is a keeper to me.

 

 

By the way, a guy who sucks up to a girl in order to get approval is probably only looking for sex.

[MetallicAguy]

All that gentleman **** that your being told to do by others man, here's a question would you normally hold open doors, and carry books for women? That's right no. It's worthless and you'll probably feel like a dork for doing it lol. Use an alternative, let her know you care through something else. Like hinting it when flirting or something, you don't need to hold open doors, etc and be a kiss ***. I mean your only holding the doors open and carrying her books once so yeah it's pointless anyhow.

 

 

 

MetallicaGuy appearently almost quotes David DeAngelou,

I didn't say anything about David DeAngelo.

 

 

 

but he's right on most levels

Thx for the compliment. You are right on most levels as well (cheesy I know reading that, lol but yeah it's true man).

[t-rav]

hey thnx for the advice, but the whole debate about carrying her books was kinda pointless b/c she is in junior high and i dont have time because im running to get to my next class. hell, i dont even see her between classes. addressing the sex issue: im not planning on having sex until i can enjoy it with my wife.....and only my wife. and im not afraid to be myself around girls, honestly, im more myself around girls than other guys. (im not afraid of being me around her, im afraid of being around her). i keep feeling like im gonna make a fool of myself. thats what has happened every other girl that i've liked. its like im out to make an idiot of myself. and the whole "bad boy" act is a cry for attention. and its one rarely answered. guys who act full of themselves are the reason girls get a bad idea of the steriotypical guy. it kinda sucks when they arent willing to open up after being treated like trash by other guys.

 

anyway, thnx everybody for the advice.