Talking on the Phone

[Stacker]

I have the number to the girl i really like and i call her about twice a week to she if shes doing anything on latter. I try and make some conversation but it doesn't work. I say how was school to day and she'd say "good" Then there'd be an akward scleince for like 10 secs while i think of some thing to say. So what would happen is i say some thing and she replys in 1-2 words then theres scleince then i say another thing and she replys in 1-2 words. But when we talk on msn the its easyer to maintain a conversation. I know she a bit shy. She told me her slef but the thing is i've had so many good convos with her when were face to face. She's fun t talk to once you get her started but thats were i need help. What should i say to her to get a converation started and actuly start talking.

[easyguy]

Stacker,

 

Phone conversations are hard for lots of people. For some reason, it's easier for girls than for guys to keep a conversation going. Of course talking online is the easiest, but sets yourself up for misinterpretations. Meeting up in person and talking is best, but phone can work if you focus.

 

Have a sheet in front of you with a few questions jotted down, and what you want to talk about. It sounds elementary, but it works if you really can't do phone conversations that easily.

 

Ask her about her classes, her daily life. LISTEN to what she's talking about, and pick up on things. If you pay attention to what she's saying, and listen for her cues, then the conversation could go on for a long time. Segwaying is a great thing. If you simply wait for her answer, then talk about something else, that can come off as rude to some people, because some like to go into more detail. Also, ask her open ended questions, not simple yes/no questions.

[Celadon]

I agree with easyguy. If you can prepare for the conversation, do that. Also, figure out what you two have in common. People talk more about things they are enthusiastic about, and conversation flows most naturally if both people are interested in it.

 

Also try asking open ended questions, not ones that can be answered in "yes" or "no." Good ones are, like, "what kind of music do you like?" and then, "really? how did you get into them?" and "which song is your favorite?" and "what do you like about that one?" Then share your own likes and dislikes.

 

On the other hand, if it just ain't happening over the phone, only use it to set up dates. Some people are too busy doing other stuff to talk on the phones. When they do answer the phone, they're totally distracted, or they're actually DOING something else.

 

It can be challenging to get shy people to talk, but don't sweat it. It sounds like you're on the right path, since you have good talks in person. Good luck!

[Stacker]

thanx for the help there but the thing is when i ask a question that in't a yes/no answer she still finds a way to answer in 1 word. For example i say "how was school to day" and she would say "good". What would a good reply to something like that be?

[ShySoul]

Like K8tie said, use open ended questions. Questions like how was school should be a starting question. Most people will respond with something short like "good" or "ok." Ask her what is going on in her classes, what she is learning. If you have classes together, talk about the assignments. If you know the teacher, find a funny story about him (thats always fun).

 

Same applies to any topic. Try to go into details.

 

Also, think about it like its an in person converasation. Visualize yourself talking to her instead of it just being her voice. What makes phone calls hard is the moments of silence. Online you can say you were distracted or looking at something else. In person you can look around, look at her and see facial expressions to ease up the awkwardness. But on the phone it comes off as strange.

[Celadon]

If you have classes together, talk about the assignments. If you know the teacher, find a funny story about him (thats always fun).

 

Yes, that's a great point. People love funny stories. That helps to break the ice for sure. Not long, elaborate stories, just short funny things.

 

Also, I've noticed that some people feel like deer in headlights when they have to answer direct questions, but they'll jump in if you carry the conversation. You'll be talking about something and they'll be like "oh yeah! I know what you mean. Same thing happened to me!" and then you can go "Oh yeah? What happened?" and, bam, they're telling you all about it. haha.

[Stacker]

Unfortunately we go to diffrent schools

[ShySoul]

Hmm... just a tad harder, but still not a problem. You can still talk about the same things, you'll just be sharing your own stories. You could always compare classes, see which one of you has the weirder teachers, best classes, etc.

 

How often do you see each other then? Conversations are easier if you have alot of shared experiences together. But if you don't you have to make do. Find things you have in common and talk about that. If the person really like the topic, they can go on for hours on it. So talk about or ask things that are likely to lead to longer conversations and try to find things that you both feel comfortable talking about.

[easyguy]

It can work.

 

At my high school, there is this girl who has been dating this one guy for about 2 years now, and he lives about 45 minute away, and goes to a different school. They see each other like twice a week, so it'd not strictly on the phone or online.

 

Ditto to ShySoul's advice.

[Stacker]

i met her last summer at school that tought people how to sail 2 man boats. (if any of you here sail we were using 420's and Lazer2's). And she was there again this year and we sailed together every day for 2 weeks. But when sailing ended i got her email and phone number and we've only seen each other once since sailing ended on Aug 12. She's been really busy. I called her to day and shes going up north of the week end and has cross country practice till 6 after school.

 

Have any of you have seen that Sobe energy drink comercial were the kid is on a podeum and some one us saying all the things they've done then they get pulled back into the wall? Well i picture this girl like that. Any ways i called her and she said she was busy with a retierment party and i could her people in the back round. SO she asked if she could call back later. How long should i wait for her to call before i call back? SHe is going up north tomrrow and proly wont be back until Sun night.

[ShySoul]

Romance blooming from sailing.... how romantic.

 

If you know that she won't be in until Sunday night, and you can figure she may be tired after getting in, so I wouldn't expect a call for a few days. But if she does call her, consider that a great sign. You could wait a couple days after to see if she calls. Or you take a chance and just call her Monday or Tuesday and ask how the trip was. She sounds like a very busy gal, so give if she doesn't call right away, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet.

[Stacker]

Yeah i'm almost 100% sure that she'll be back some time sunday bacuse Monday's a school day. I doubt she'd want to miss a class since she wants to make Honor Roll again this year.