The Rules...of Breaking Up

[Msnak]

Help! I haven't broken up with anyone in years and can't remember what's cool and what's not cool to do! Any help? Are there rules for breaking up?

[DN]

Be honest, don't hold out false hope of getting back together, don't say "I want to remain friends' especially if you don't mean it, be as gentle but as firm as you can. Respect their feelings. Don't trash them but give a good reason for the break up so they get 'closure'.

[annie24]

Break up with them in person, not over the phone. And certainly not over e-mail or text message.

 

Ditto to everything that DN said.

 

After the breakup, don't give them a false sense of hope, if you really feel that it is over.

 

good luck

[Msnak]

Thanks, I love the advice! Especially breaking up in person.

[waiting]

Just be firm on the not holding out false hope for them - I think this is the single most important thing. Even if you think there is a chance of you getting back together at some future point, dont tell them this. Lie if you have to, and make them believe it. They really need to believe its over for good and give them a chance to pick themselves up and move on.

 

If you are the one breaking up, it will be up to you to change their mind if you ever change yours. And if you change your mind and they dont want you back, thats your bad luck.

 

I know this because my ex cant say never again. She really doesnt know, and is apprently still thinking about it. And it has been hell on me.

[LadyV]

I agree completely with waiting. My ex ended things, there's been lots of mixed things said & it's been hell for me. He doesn't know what'll happen in the future, has doubted what he's done, can't say never, misses me & that when he's sorted his head (lots of probs) & is ready, he'll be back. I know feelings are still there & that's the worst bit. I'd say be honest & as hard as it'll be, don't contact because the one on the receiving end will try to take hope from what's said.