Banging head and cuting......

[teza]

Ok lately i have been having a really hard time with family and everything.

 

I have been cutting myself and banging my head constantly on walls and metal poles on my bed, i have also been punching myself in the head and now my head hurts so bad.

 

anyone know a way of stopping?

[misery12]

Yeah, try not punching yourself in the head, and banging your head on poles. I hear it works.

 

 

What good does that do to you anyways? It doesn't get rid of pain, and it doesn't make you "forget" the other pain. All it does is leave you with the same problems as before and a broken skull.

 

Post about why you're depressed with the other issues, and i'll be glad to help with that.

[Veneza127]

You have taken the first step to end this problem and that is: TO ASK FOR HELP. Congratulations. Now keep reading. You are going to have to trust yourself and believe you can do this on your own along with our help.

 

Hurting yourself won't solve your problems. All you have to do is express any feelings you have with words. Believe it or not... words are actions too. Whenever you tell somebody how you feel about a specific situation you are actually taking an action to make the situation better.

 

Like I said... hurting yourself won't make things better and that's the first thing you need to learn. Physically abusing yourself is a sign of low self-steem. If you want others to get along with you and to understand your feelings and the things you are going through, you first need to show them that you respect yourself. If you don't, nothing will guarantee they will respect your point of view on things that happen around you. Once you understand that hurting yourself won't make things better you will understand the next thing I'm going to tell you.

 

Instead of running away from your problems, you should face your problems. If you keep hurting yourself the way you have been hurting yourself you won't only get no respect but you will also inspire others to feel pitty for you. And to be honest, pitty is the last thing you need because it will only make things worse. If you are really tired of this situation you will get on your feet and start putting your feelings in order. Once you realize what is it that you want out of life, you will have to talk to those people you have been having problems with in a nice tone and tell them what is bothering you. However, you should also put yourself in their positions and try to find out what you have been doing that have been causing them to behave the way they have.

 

After this, you have to commit yourself to a big but slow change. If you are possitive and believe in yourself you will be able to overcome this situation. It is all inside you and this is as much as we can do to help. The rest of it depends on you and on how much you really want to fix this problem.

[teza]

Its problems not getting along with my family and my boyfriend. Its funny as my mum is never home as she is out with other men and women drinking everynight. My nan is also italian and 65 years old so she doesnt understand how we live here in england. So none of us get along and we all live together.My boyfriend is working so im lonely all day. He is going to a very crappy college and there is some people there i dont want him to be around. He cried for me to not go to college so i didnt and now im looking for a job, i cry everynight for him not to go 1 a week which he doesnt need to go as he stuill has his job and he is going, i dont want him to and he wont leave no matter what but he made me not go so i have decided not to and now he sees how upset i am over him going he now wants me to go to college.

 

im so down and also i got crap exam grades etc i just dont know what is wrong with me, i have told him how i feel and tried my best to explain everything but he doesnt seem to care at all. i cannot talk to my mother as we are further away from each other than north and south pole and the rest of my family just say to me "your ok theres worse off than you" and i say to them well i need help before i get like them and they just always think im being stupid saying stuff so i dont tell them a thing now its all hidden from them.

 

please help me

[Veneza127]

Well.. let me tell you that sacrificing your education (future) for a boyfriend who could be there for you today but could be gone tomorrow is not a wise thing to do. Whether you go to college or not... it's your decision, NOT HIS! He has no right to ask you not to go to college. You should be the one deciding and not only deciding but also doing it no matter if he likes it or not.

 

If you are actually thinking about something serious with this guy, the first thing you should do is go to college and get a degree. That way later on you can get a decent job to pay for your own expenses. Or are you expecting him to pay for all your things? Because if you are and if he had told you that he will, it might work for a couple of months but he will probably start complaining about his money later on. So think about that.

 

On the other hand, you shouldn't stop him from going to college either. No matter how crappy the place is and how bad the people are... he is getting his education. If you guys really love eachother then... you should trust each other and you should support each other on those things that will help you succeed in the future. I know there is temptation in life but there is also self-control and you should talk to him about that. You should also think deeply about that and self-control yourself with the physical abuse. You can do it!

 

referring to your mom, I think you should still try to talk to her at least a little bit. Try to start off with things that are not so important. Ask her about her life without judging her. Communication between you and your mother is very important and you shouldn't wait for her to try to come up to you. You should try to start it yourself. And if all this works, I guarantee you will be proud of yourself in the future.

 

Now when you say your family thinks you are stupid because of the things you say, it could have to do with what I said before about respect. If you stop hurting yourself and if you start showing them you can stand on your feet and do better, they will probably start taking you seriously. Remember that!

[teza]

My family dont even have a clue i am having problems well they do with them and thats it, they have no cluc of me hurting myself. i have tried many of times with my mum and she will promise me things and they never come true.

[Lost1n7heDark]

First off, I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time.

 

Second, I agree with Veneza, your boyfriend shouldn't ever be first priority or first voice. In this world you are the only one you can trust the most.

 

Tell your mother. Talk to her. Start off just as if just stating a fact lightly. Gradually make it a real conversation and if it gets to yelling, then yell. I know, I know. Let's all be nice to our parents. Well I say forget it. You need to tell her what's going on. You don't have to tell her you're hurting yourself, but at least tell her what she's doing is hurting you. Let her know that what she's doing is a damage to herself and to you. Let her know that you're feeling pain because of her choice of actions. I know. I hate it when people promise things and never keep them. Remind her. Something like "Hey mom, remember when you promised me...?" Keep at it.

 

Sure, your family's right. There are always people worse off and better off than you. But the thing is, just because there are people worse off than you doesn't mean you can't try to fix your problems. There's no law saying you can't complain or you can't try to mend your wounds. They don't have the right to tell you that you should be pleased with everything in your life, because if you want "better" and are working hard for "better", then you deserve "better". People like that will only have you running the same place over and over again.

 

Look, I really wish you well, and wish you good luck. Tell me how it goes.