Communication laziness

[BlkLagoon]

I'm either being a paranoid, oversensitive chick or I'm right and need to realize it. Help! I met a guy online from another country this past yr, and he came to visit for a couple weeks this summer. It was a great visit, except that he was a little cautious. When he went home, we talked and decided we definitely wanted to continue to see one another and progress. So, in July he decided to come back out here- and he has a flight already to arrive the end of Sept. Only 4 weeks from now. The problem is that I feel like lately he hasn't been keeping up with his communication as much as he used to. It seems to have steadily declined. He went 6 days straight recently w/o contacting me- I rationalized it because we spent a couple hours on the phone prior to that and there were no problems. But it made me very upset! He emailed me, and I didn't respond so he got online and I got my issue off my chest. I told him I know we're not in a committed full-blown "relationship" but that it worried me when he didn't bother to talk to me for 6 days. He went on a last-min. trip and didn't realize he was even gone for very long. But he did apologize. Ok- this was 4 days ago- we talked for a long time after that discussion and things were totally fine. But since then- no contact!! Now, I know he's got a busy life, but really- I feel totally discouraged by this behavior, especially after I told him how I felt. Should I tell him not to even come back to visit? I'm worried this is the beginning of the end if he keeps this up and I don't want to get hurt... any more than I am now anyway.

[HaloDestroyer]

I think it would be best if you let him handle this.

 

Let him come over and visit. He might back out at the last minute, even, by the way you describe his behaviour, so you might as well let him make the decision.

[bigbearsgirl]

I agree, try to relax for now. Let him travel over to you and see how it goes. If he still seems keen then let him know that in order for this reltationship to work you need frequent contact, it's not such a huge thing to ask for and in my mind he should happy to comply. If he then continues to be lax you could think about calling it off? I know you're taking the chance of getting hurt but if he lived next door he still has the potential to hurt you.