No Sex. Is she cheating?

[TheOneAndOnly]

Well, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 8 months and we used to have sex like everyday. not more than once a day but everytime we saw each other. The third month, it narrowed down to every other day that we saw each other. Then it narrowed down to once a week. Well, now its the 8th month and its been 12 days. Somethings wrong and I have a gut feeling. She says, "when do we ever have time to do it?" because she works alot and I do to. When we see each other now we are always going over to her friend house to party or something and then we get to my house at like 2am and we have time. But,yet, nothing happens. This one time she teased me in the shower when we took one. She got down on her knees and proceeded. Then she just got back up not even less then a minute and stopped. And that was it. Then she got ready and went home. I have alot of shit going threw my head. I need sex at least 3 times a week. And shes not giving me it so what should I do? Now remember, if I say " Whats the problem Genna, why havent we had sex in a while?" shes going to say either, "Omg! Here we go again with the sex issue" or "When do we have time?"

[bzborow1]

Sex isn't about sex with "most" women. That is to say, there could be other issues in your relationship with her that may be causing her to pull away, and being super-aggressive about it doesn't help. However that does not mean you two shouldn't be talking about it. When you do just remember that you should make the issue about her and not you. What I mean is to calmly and adultly sit down and talk w/her. Tell her you are concerned with the sex issue...ask her what she thinks on the subject.

 

In addition to talking about sex, you should try to be more romantic and thoughtful towards her. I know after 8 months of lots of sex things may change a bit in her mind, "not like it used to be in the romancing department". It sounds really cheesy, but women need to know they're being romanced and not just "giving it up".

 

The reason I say this is because you mentioned something about having sex at 2am...now i don't know about most women, but the ones i've slept with really don't want to have sex at 2am, drunk, and after a party.

[crookster_man]

One and Only, you need to come to terms with reality. I can tell that you are probably a young person. The reason is because you don't understand the fact that relationships evolve much like anything else. I'll explain quickly what I mean

 

When you first meet a girl it's called infatuation, in this stage you are both rather horny and sexually attracted to each other. This is when the most sex occurs during a relationship, especially for young people.

 

After time (8 months is a long time) this stage is replaced by a more normal stage known as the acceptance stage, in which both parties view each other as real people. Things start to take on a different meaning; the sex usually starts to calm down.

 

Now I can tell that you give and receive affection through physical contact whether it is sex or other things. If the sex slows down you think "She doesn't like me, she isn't attracted to me anymore, or she is getting board of me... and so on". That's most likely not the case.

 

You need to start showing affection in different ways if you wish this relationship to continue. If you in it just for the sex, it's time to pack the bags and find a new fling. (they call it a fling for a reason). A stable healthy relationship is not all about sex. You said it has been 12 days? That's not to bad buddy. However if you do really like this girl and want it to work, you need to approach this situation carefully and UNCONFORTATIONALLY. That means do not start with 'We need more sex, or why don't you have sex with me anymore?"

 

Start with "(GF name) lets talk about our intimacy, I feel that we have taken a turn down a different road. Do you feel this way?" Get her to start talking. "Where do you see us going? Do you feel happy in our relationship? What things can I DO to help you feel better?"

 

Maybe there is a reason she is have less sex with you. Maybe she feels that it is wrong? Maybe she feels that you're just using her for sex? Maybe she is getting tired of the same old routine! (Try changing it up) Maybe you need to be more spontaneous and adventurous?

 

Either way, if you care about this girl talk to her. If she starts to get defensive tell her right off that you don't want to insult her or upset her. Tell her YOU ARE NOT ATTACKING HER just that you want to address some issues to better strengthen your relationship. If she opens up, she might tell you things you don't want to hear... you will have to decide where to go from there. Good luck, I hope this helped.

[CamaroJoe]

I don't think she is cheating. Relationshps get like that sometimes. Maybe she's going through a rough time and just doesn't want sex that much. It'll pass. But don't pressure her.

[cs20thcenturyfox]

I agree with CamaroJoe, sometimes women aren't just in the mood, I dun think she's cheating....good luck.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Well, today she called me and we went to have lunch together. We were chit-chatting with each other. She said something about her managers staying on the clock to go home and have sex and then coming back to work. We both laughed, I said "Thats wrong, every employee should be able to go home and have sex while still on the clock" She laughed and she said " Ya huh, I should be able to go home for an hour." we both smiled and just looked at each other. I dont know how it came up but one way or another, she said "You damn European Horn Dogs" (Im european.)

I laughed and said "Hell yeah! Europeans have to maintain a healthy sex life too." She said " Well I cant help you there." We paused for a moment, and I asked her to repeat what she just said because I was trying to hear her right. She said " Im starting my period and I work the next 3 days." So I was like "oh, its cool." Well, lets cut down to the point. Right before I left she sat on my lap and we made out for about a minute. after we were done kissing, I hugged her and I said " I want you baby." And she said " I want you too."

 

With that, we both said goodbye and she left back to work and i came home.

 

So she has told me that she wants me too which indicates to me that she still wants to have sex with me. But, the whole " I cant help you there" phrase really made me feel, weird inside. Im not mad or anything, but she didnt have to say I cant help you there. She could have just said, Im starting my period and I work alot or something. Oh! She also asked me if I would seek different resources to take care of it. Meaning, would I go cheat on her. I said of course not. I can wait.

 

Whadda ya guys think?

[crookster_man]

Man, I've already said how it is. You need to relax. You are reading into things way to much. Not every comment has 15 million hidden agendas, maybe your just tripping out. Obviously you still are interested in each other, just stop worrying and take some action. Take charge and RELAX.