angry, hurt and upset

[wonderland88]

This is a long story and I'm sorry for writing so much but I need help.

 

I've been dating the same guy for almost 2 years...we started dating just after I turned 15. He used to do drugs and I really don't like them and he even quit doing those for me! I loved him so much we always spend time together and had so much fun, he always made me laugh and cheered me up when I was feeling blue. But March of this year things ended, it was mutual I agree but it still hurt and we were separated for 3 months.

 

Then his prom happened and one of his friends asked me because his date bailed and so I had to sit at the stupid table with him and his date...he told me he didn't like his date and stuff..that whole night he kept staring at me and asked me to dance about 5 times...the last dance he said he would rather dance with me but felt obligated to dance with his date. After my date and him went home, he didn't go in the limo but decided to go with us instead. That next night his friend/my prom date wanted to go to a fair that was going on in town he won me a stuffed animal and then that night after I was home he started talking to me on msn telling me how much he missed me and stuff...we agreed to meet the next day and then restarted our relationship.

 

This 2nd time, he didn't stop doing drugs for me and 2 weeks before things ended again he avoided me, wouldn't call wouldn't wanna see me etc etc. We ended things on Sunday where he told me that he didn't love me anymore and didn't wanna work things out, he just didn't feel the same anymore. I of course was crushed since I threw my heart back into it just to have it crushed once again.

 

All of my diary entries and notes, cards I burned yesterday and it did make me feel a lot better but I'm still so hurt that I love him so much and he can just end things with no remorse. I don't know what to do, I have so much anger and since I'm going back to school for grade 12 this year...he's coming back another year as well and I just don't wanna see him anymore...his dad said I should still be friends but once we're friends the feelings come back and then we date and I get my heart broken again.

 

Does anyone have any advice for me, I really don't know what to do.

 

If this happens again, where he likes me should i forgive him, should i remain friends with him...?

[kellbell]

Sorry that you are going through this. Well, I guess if I were you, I would not let him back into your life because he has a track record of breaking your heart. You sound alwfully crushed and this is going to take time for you to heal and move on. Being friends with him, I don't know, I think it's a lot to ask at this point. Maybe in the future when you have healed and moved on but you can cross that bridge once you get there. When a partner does drugs, he or she can say or do things they don't mean and generally hurt the ones they love the most. So I would stay clear from him until he's straight. I think you deserve someone who does not do drugs and will not break your heart. Hugs to you and take care. Come here and talk to all you want, we're listening.

[wonderland88]

Thank you Kellbell I do hope that I feel better and so far I've only cried once today which is better than yesterday lol...but the thought of putting my heart into a relationship ever again scares me because of the pain it's caused me.

Do you think the same thing will happen again that happened at prom? Does anyone or has anyone had a third chance with someone and had it work?

[kellbell]

Well, I gave a guy I dated on/off for 3 years, like 4 chances and he kept breaking my heart. We would date, got physical everytime we got together, and such. Then he would always come up with some stupid, lame excuse to dump me a few months later. So after the forth time I let him have it, I told him never to call me, forget I ever existed, if you ever see me, turn the other way. He did try to contact me 4 months later, I went out with him for a few beers and after a nice time and walking to our cars, I told him, "thanks for the nice time but nothing is going to happen tonight. See you around." Never heard from him again, I saw him around a few times though. Ignored him.

So to anwser your question, I have a pessamistic view on giving men multiple chances. I think after the second time, forget it, it was not meant to be. Because they know you are going to be around no matter what, and once they figure out what kind of power they have over you, they will exploit it. I think you are better off cutting this guy out of your life for good, try to heal and learn from this experience.