Bianca79 Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 You guys are all fabulous on this site...and I would love a bit of advice. In short - I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. For the last 3 years he was a student, and now he's in a job where he works away 2-3 weeks at a time, home for only a week. I always thought I'd be able to get through it, but I'm having a hard time with it. I do love him, and I trust him completely so it's not about that. I have always felt like I've been "held back" as we've done everything to get him through school, and now he's away. How do I handle this situation? I have things I want to do on my own that I realize now it's okay that I want to do them for MYSELF (ie. work abroad, etc.) and never thought I could allow myself that before because of my committment to him. If I leave, we will have to break up which will be devastating, but shouldn't I start thinking about myself? Help would be appreciated!!! Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 You have to decide what means most to you - your love for him or what you want to do for yourself. Can you see yourself with him in a committed relationship five years from now - or ten? If not, then you have some hard thinking to do. A good relationship means you do what is necessary for the best interests of both of you. If you only want to do what is in your best interests without regard to his, then the relationship is probably not strong enough to last. Link to comment
Mun Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 Talk with him about your dreams and goals for yourself. Get his opinion on things and then make a decision. Link to comment
Bianca79 Posted August 21, 2005 Author Share Posted August 21, 2005 Thanks for your quick responses I do definitely care about his interests...that's partly why I've stood by him as long as I have, and why this decision is that much more painful. I know it would hurt him, and it kills me to think of doing that. But...having gone 5 years with putting him first is starting to put a strain on myself as I have lost the sense of who I am (I also forgot to mention I am only 26). Love is hard! Link to comment
CinnamonGirl Posted August 21, 2005 Share Posted August 21, 2005 What is it other than going abroad that you would ultimately like to do? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now