HELP! 10 weeks pregnant and he's gone

[karmic-witch]

Ok heres the situation. My bf of 5 years is totally avoiding me after learning i am pregnant with his child. Well the first week wasnt so bad but the last 3 he wont even answer his phone. i had an implanon contraceptive in my arm which he kept asking me to have removed. the possibility of me falling pregnant was discussed and i suggested condoms but he said he would be happy about it. Although we didnt "plan" to get pregnant we both knew the risks as were discussed several times,Two months after having the implanon removed i fell pregnant.I am 30 and he is 34. I should mention i already have a daughter who is almost 8 from a previous relationship who he adores and she thinks the world of him too.

Now here i am 10 weeks pregnant and alone i feel so betrayed and hurt. I would appreciate any advice and especially welcome advice from dads who happen to read this.

[confusedashell]

Try your hardest to talk to him, talk to his family. I dont know how old you are but I know when we found out we were pregnant I was a daunting time. Its hard to grasp. Esp if, like in this case, its not a planned pregnancy. I'm sure he'll come around. Its the best thing that ever happened to me!

[ComputerGuy]

There is a chance he could be getting over the shock of the initial news that he is going to be a dad. It's not an easy thing at the best of times to hear, even moreso when it's not expected.

[sweetheart4ever]

I think you should stop trying to contact HIM so much, try gettin in touch with his family if your close to them...either he is im shock, hurt, or happy...allso maybe after the 1st week of not answer yer calls he didnt know how to tell you why he didnt...he was going to but he didnt know how..then it just kept gettin a long amout of time...so i say call him maybe ever other few days but talk to his family alot..

[Cadence308]

I don't have kids, but read your thread and wanted to offer some support. I'm sure that your boyfriend is feeling shocked and maybe confused. Does he know that you weren't trying to get pregnant? My sister told me that she knows of a lot of women who try to get pregnant just to keep their guy.

 

Sometimes men are jerks in these situations. My sister is married and found out she was pregnant about 2 months along. She's had a lot of complications during her pregnancy, including internal bleeding that she had to go into emergency room surgery for. She is not supposed to lift heavy things and her husband is out partying and drinking with his friends. He can't understand why she's tired and that going out partying isn't fun for her since she can't drink.

 

Sorry about the tangent. My point is that his reaction to your being pregnant could be a sign of his maturity level. Some guys really don't get it!

[pizzachick13]

I don't have kids karmic-witch but I think I can offer some advice.

 

One of my mates thought that he had gotten his gf pregnant but really she had just been late with her period. But he did the same thing as your guy; he did a runner. For about a week he didn't come to school, contact any of his mates (myself included), answer his phone. And it was all because he was afraid. But the day before we all found out that she wasn't pregnant, he came out of hiding and accepted responsibility for his actions. He even had thought of some names.

 

The point is that eventually he will accept responsibility for your child; he just needs time.

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Sappho...

[karmic-witch]

This situation just gets more and more painful to me. I went and saw him today and although he let me in to talk it wasn't exactly positive. He kept using cleches like "it takes 2 to tango" which i agree with but the difference is i am ok with having a child and obviously he isnt (despite leading me to believe he was). Everything he says just seems like an excuse to me when really it comes down to where he wants this relationship to go after 5 years and how he feels about me. I feel not only is he regecting this child but me along with it. I have told him that if i were to terminate this pregnancy i would be terminating the relationship aswell because i dont think i could forgive him for putting me through that.This is such a different situation for us women to deal with than it is a man i already feel emotionally attached to this child which ive known for weeks has been growing inside me. I can't easily detach myself from this like he can. Mind you he has been throwing up every other day and i havent wonder if he will feel the labor while i kick back with a good book hmm........... one can only dream.

[berberry]

Funny...I too am 10 weeks pregnant. My fiance and I have been together for over 2 years, and were pleasantly surprised to find out about the baby. HE actually was more excited than myself initially, and convinced me that this would all work out beautifully. I also have a 5 year old from a previous relationship, and he has 2 children from a previous relationship. My fiance decided to quit the fire department and join the Army...he says to "build a better life for us all." I knew that he would be leaving for Basic Training and I would be alone for at least 4 months of this pregnancy, but I never expected what actually ended up happening. 2 days before he left for Basic, he asked me to marry him...the very next day. I was hormonal, and shocked, etc, so I took an evening to think about it. The next morning I received a phone call from his brother informing me that MY fiance had gotten married to another woman! He couldn't wait for my response, so he took the mother of his 2 kids to the courthouse and married her! When I went to our home to pack my belongings, he had nothing to say. He actually tried to avoid the topic all together. My fiance and his "wife" haven't even had a relationship for 5 years, and she was fully aware of me and this baby. Needless to say, I'm pissed and hurt. My fiance left for Basic the day after his wedding, and I haven't heard from him since. After 2 years in a great relationship, I am left all alone...and pregnant. I didn't see ANY of this coming. He must have had some kind of severe mental breakdown. I don't get it. And from all accounts...including the new wife, they all say that he never even cheated. I chose to believe that. So just know that there are other people in the world that are having to deal with pregnancies all alone. Leave him alone, leave his family alone, and take care of yourself. Give him 7 more months to think, and if he doesn't come around on his own...I'm sure child support enforcement will love to have a chat with him. Good Luck.

[Kristle]

awww im also 10 weeks pregnant and completely emotional..

reading your post nearly made me cry

[apollocreed71]

I just found out my gf is pregnant, 5 weeks. Yeah, it was a bit of a shock, but we knew what could happen, and it did happen really fast. Now I am just wondering where we are going.

[may123]

I'm 36 and 7 months pregnant from my 8 year old's dad, who left me when I was pregnant with my first born and married someone else, had two kids and divorced and came back and now I'm pregnant again. I know STUPID!!!! The nice thing is that it's now my turn to drop him. He's never been a good father to my son and I will not allow him to put my unborn through the same crap. We are strong mothers and we will find a good man who will love our children and love us as well. I'm amazed at how many jerks we have out there. The nice thing is that "EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY" and our ex's will have their day soon. They are not worth us even talking about. We need to focuss on our children and our future and not allow them back into our lives.