The love of my life cheated on me. I'm dying inside.

[Funks]

The love of my life cheated on me. I'm dying inside. Post: 1 | Quote:

 

Hey guys.

 

I'm seeking help, Let me start from the beginning. Be patient, it's worth it.

 

It was 4 months that I first met Kate. We clicked immediately and it wasn't long until we were spending every moment we could together, we loved each other incredibly, I never thought i'd be so lucky. She'd tell me so much how she'd always love me. We spent every moment together, if we werent seeing each other, we certainly was on the phone to each other. It was a very intimate relationship and I loved every second of it, I thought she did too...

 

This monday, it was both our days off, so I said that i'm getting a bus to hers, she replys by saying 'No, I just need a day for myself' it was fair enough, I could do with a day too. But it was very odd not to be together. I missed her. She still kept in big contact with me all day. The following day, she had work, but not until 1pm. I said I'd better get over to hers, she said she missed me, but she was feeling sick. I was sympathetic and respected her.

 

That night, something was up. She kept phong me, crying to me how much she loves me etc. This is not unusal. She often gets emtotional over our love. I returned her love. Then she said that she'd done something so bad, and that she hatees herself etc, but she wouldent tell me.

After hours of nagotionating, I'd discovered that she'd been unfaithful to me. She's a firty girl by nature, which I'm okay with (most of the time) and I know she'd be with guys she knows if she wasn't with me. One of these guys, my friend, Shaun, managed to nab her phone number from someone. They spent a day texted, telling each other that they really liked each other and eventually phoning and talking for hours.

The following day, it turns out Shaun had asked her to go out to the pub with her, she agreed and she spent the day being unfaithful to me. It makes me sick to think about it.

 

She told me that she wanted new things and was bored. She's only 16 and she thinks she should be spending her time smoking, drinking and kissing random guys. Which she'd been doing up until I met her.

 

I am in a state of depression, I feel like my whole world has been rocked and I have no-one to turn to. She's my best friend and my life partner, I always thought we were soulmates. I don't know what to do with myself. To make matters worse, I often pick up the phone to talk to her, to tell her that I love, because I miss her. I miss her more than anything..

 

She keeps phoning me also, tells me she made a mistake and wants me back.. other times she wants me to go away and leave her.. It's all incredibly confusing. Apparently she wants me for her future, and wants me to wait for her after she's finished her 'phase'. That's not something I can do.

 

I need help. I can't sleep, eat or concentrate on anything else. I love her so much. How can I get over her?

[DN]

Part of getting over her is making the decision to do that and you can't because she is sending very mixed messages.

 

Decide if you would forgive her and take her back if she wants you to.

 

Then tell her that you will only take her back and forgive her if she comes back to you now and stays faithful to you.. say that you will not wait for her to get over her 'phase' - it's now or never.

 

If you don't want her back, or she insists she still wants her time-out, then tell her you don't want to see her again and not to contact you. And don't you contact her.

 

Once you have made these decisions, then you will be clear in your mind and can start to get over her and move on. Or, if she does come back, then you can work on the relationship.

[misery12]

Well you've come to the right place, but not if you're expecting some magic cure to ease your pain overnight. Break ups are never easy, especially when it's because of a situation like your own.

 

The thing is, she was unfaithful to you, but did have the respect to let you know, maybe the fear of you finding out later, scared her into telling you?

Anyways, This girl is asking way too much of you, she wants you to stick around while she sorts out her problems.

 

The thing is, DONT.. she already disrespected you a great deal, and if you get back with her, what's stopping her from doing it again.

I'd say take it as a learning experience, you're only 18, you have your whole life ahead of you.

 

Move on from this girl.. don't try and tell her how she did you wrong.. by leaving, and dropping her from your life.. will show her exactly what her consequences resort to.

 

As for how to move on.. I'd say get rid of ANYTHING that reminds you of her, photos, letters, emails.. everything!

Delete her from your IM, and rearrange your room, to get rid of any unwanted memories.

 

It will take a while to get over, but initiate NC with her, and sooner or later you'll wake up and not need her.. and get on with your life, and keep busy, and before you know it.. a new girl will come along, who will fulfill you emotionally the way your ex could not.

[sweetheart4ever]

Ok to start out, i have the SAME thing cept...youll see..

 

Im the 16 year old girl in a relationship with a 19yar old guy, who i love uncondisinaly (sp) i have never cheated on him, and never will, im a flirt aswell, i cant help it and he knows that, but i stop and dont let it go further, have i had the ops to smoke and drink yea have i done them once, have i had the chance to cheat? yea done it? hell no, if you want to do something like that, if you want to have things with another, then you get out of the relationship FIRST. this is how it is, if she really really really loved you, really really cared, she wouldnt hurt you like that, she would think of your feelings by either, controling herself and stoping it, or by ending if so you dont have to be hurt more by the cheating fact. im in love with my guy like no other, people thought it was crazy, but aproching a year, they see how we are they see how we act, and im not letting that go. she let it go. she took it threw it out the window ran outside and stompd on it like crazy. one thing is 4sure, your gonna be fine. i have faith in you, if you need someone to talk to im here all the time, if you want my AIM or yahoo, talk to me then. i love to listen n pitch in my 2 cents if you want it.keep your head high, try to have NC with her..(no comunication) it might help you to move on n keep your head high. if she wanted you to wait and not for now, she should have kept you as friends first..ok im done griping, just write to me n ill talk like no other lol good luck to you, i know its hard.

 

~Sweet Heart~

[Funks]

Thanks, so much for your speedy responses.

 

You're right though. She's been telling me she doesn't feel like she used to, and she's being untrue to herself (smoking, drinking etc) when she started with me, she left all those behind. She was so perfect.

 

One thing I realise now. People don't change.

 

She was unfaithful to me. If I take her back, i'll be weak and as you said, I don't think i'd be able to trust her again. She'll probably get bored again.

 

But, if she would have said 'it's over. leave it' i'd have been happier. But she's taking me for a ride now. And it's drving me insane.

[DN]

I don't agree that people don't change, many people have. Especially about things they do when they are 16. But that doesn't mean that you have to wait round until she does change.

[misery12]

DN, can I ask you a personal question.

 

At what age do you feel people have experienced relationships enough, and are mature enough to start a relationship with someone that they want to spend the right of their life with?

[DN]

There no definitive answer to that question - too much depends on the individual. Some people have met the person they spent the rest of their life with when they were in mid to late teens but I suspect that is rare. Other people still can't form a lasting relationship in their thirties or forties.

 

I think most people are ready in their mid to late twenties. But that is a very rough and ready estimate.

[Steve_B]

Hey Gibbens,

 

People do change, especially around our age. I was with my Ex for nearly 2 years and 1 day she did the magical change thing and said "i don't want to settle down yet". The truth is she wanted to be with other people, sleep around etc..... she now admits this to me.

Especially where we live Funks, its "cool" to sleep with as many people as you can, there are only a few girls that i know are still decent enough to not get naked in bars.

 

I rekon she did love you as you said, in my opinion i think she thought she would get away with it and you would forgive her, as you have done in the past.

 

Everyone goes through this, my mum has 7 sons, we have all been through it.

 

Go out with your mates, Have a laugh. Get rid of everything she got you, don't have to throw it away just put it in the loft or something.

 

and STOP CONTACTING HER!!!!

[chunky]

Gibbens Gibbens Gibbens

 

its time to stop being a fool and start gettin over her, excepting her back would be the stupidest thing u could possible do, u say she cheated on u girls who do that have names SL*TS, my advice is burn all her stuff, watching it burn will mean a new beginning because having them in ur room so u can stay at them 24/7 is not doing u any gd.

 

Also u need to start eating and gettin rest mate, if ur finding it hard to sleep then u need to find something to take u mind off of her.