is she really more attractive?

[Gratsy]

There is someone I know who said that she was the most attractive person at this party we both attended. Now, I heard from another guy that he thought that she was the most attractive and that the majority also thought that to. But the thing is, I normally recognize if someone is more attractive and she just doesn't seem as attractive as I am. She has a long forhead and tiny eyes, and I have wide eyes and full lips. And I have a few friends who agree. What exactly determines whether somone is more attactive then another? I know that sometimes I will look at someone and think that they are attractive and everyone will disagree with me even though I find them to e very attractive. And then, there are people like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp that I know pretty much every girl I know finds attractive. When it comes to the party, could it just be that it was isolated to a certain "type" that that particular group might find more attractive? Similar to how a goth group would find a goth girl more attractive while a frat party might not feel that way. Although, if I looked at a pattern, from the second hand source, it seems that the people that you are willing to pay attention to/be nice to, find you more attractive.

[jna35]

I really wouldn't worry about who is more attractive. It's kind of a shallow thing. Perhaps she mentioned it because she is insecure. It seems as though you may be also. Just be content with yourself. Beauty is VERY subjective as you've said yourself there are times you find people attractive and others don't. Just concentrate on being a good person, that's what is truly important, or should be anyway.

[Mun]

She might be a certain "type" that is attractive to alot of people, but that doesn't mean they will all want to get to know her. I once heard this comment " He is really hot and you want to have him for a good time, but he is not someone you want to keep " A pretty sad thing to say about someone, I think.

 

Attitude is just as important as looks though and in my opinion someone that says about herself " I'm the most beautiful" is conceited and very vain. Watch out for her, girls like that usually hate it when other girls get attention and they will try to trip you up.

[Caterina]

I agree with both of you, good advice. Although, I am curious...how do those sort of girls trip you up? Do you mean that they will try to make you look bad? Thanks

[Mun]

From what I've seen : They try to mess with your life so that you are not happy... or so you don't get what they think you don't "deserve." In their eyes they are the only ones that matter.

[Caterina]

Yeeks! Thats pretty messed up that some people are like that. Thanks.

[may55]

You know, few thoughts here on this as well.

 

She may need more reassurance about her looks, which is why guys or people validate her attractiveness (did I understand that right, people out loud agreed with her?).

 

And to be honest different types of people are attracted to different types of people!

 

Growing up I was always the "ugly" one in my family, my sister was the attractive one. And I always believed it. So going out to a party with her or any family function everyone always said how beautiful my sister was. And she is, don't get me wrong. Anyway later on in life I figured out that we were both beautiful in different ways, in fact I landed a modelling gig for a brief while after college, my sister never did. I started to realize that people would reassure my sister about her looks but not me, most people figured I did not need it.

 

So that being said, try to realize that you probably are very attractive and maybe your friend is too in a different way. And if you think you are better looking, then great! Lots of men will also think the same.

 

If she needs that constant reassuance about her looks, just let her be. Quietly roll your eyes. At least you don't need validation like that!

 

Hope that helps!

[lifeiscash]

As for attractivness, its not a choice.. it just happens. As for your comments sometimes attractivness doesn't have to only be about her looks. It could have alot to do with prestige or popularity. Personally, I don't see why any of this should be a big deal. How is it going to improve you by worrying how someone is attractive or what not. Just focus on yourself and don't give in to the he said/she said ideal.

[ShySoul]

Everyone is attractive in their own way and to someone.

 

The ones who have to go around saying they are attractive are the ones trying to mask their own insecurities and feelings of not being attractive. They'll put others down to build themselves up. If anything you should feel sorry for them.

[Shinobie]

Ya i hate the whole "whos more attractive" nonsense i completely hate it and u should probably not care about it.I mean if ur attractive enough to get boyfriends then that tells u your attractive so who should really care whos attractive?

[skyteph]

who should really care whos attractive?

 

Because we like the self-esteem boosts we get when we know that /we/ are the most attractive.

[northernlights]

Definitely listen to what others here said: attractiveness is very subjective. You said it yourself...you may some people attractive, while others may not.

 

Most of my close friends are guys, so naturally I hear them talk about girls 24/7. I've realized that their perceptions of attractive and our (girls) perceptions of attractive can be very very different. Plus, personal biases of being a girl and wanting to be the most attractive (I've definitely been there!!) can interfere with our judgement and make us see only the negative "ugly" aspects of our rivals.

 

A perfect example: just two days ago, my guy friends were discussing which girls in our class they found hot. They all agreed that this one girl was hot, but I remember when I first saw her, I thought she was kind of manly looking and not attractive at all. Turns out most of the guys had the hots for her though, without ever having talked to her.

 

So you can't really ask who is more attractive. I'm sure someone else thinks you're much more attractive than that other girl you mentioned, while others think vice versa.

 

You should instead look at things in this way: people think you're attractive. And they find this other girl attractive. But at least you also make a blip on their radars!