Love and Infatuation....difference?

[princess_fireball]

This is a general question, at which I really really would like to hear some good answers. What is the difference between infatuation and love? How do you know if it's love or infatuation? You would think that I would know this, but I have never been in a real relationship for over a couple of months.

[frustratedWithLife]

Hmmm... The difference between love and infactuation.

 

Simple answer: Time.

 

Time will show the difference, with infactuation you will lose interest, the small things will annoy you more, casual conversation will be harder to come by. With love your interest will only grow, the small things that annoy you, you'll find you can't live without and the casual conversations you have will grow and become a big part of your life.

 

Then again, love just might be different for each person out there, can't wait to hear other's views.

[dpressedone89]

the difference between love and infatuation is love is when you value someones feelings and happiness more than your own, infatuation is like when you become attracted to someone before knowing there thoughts and feelings

[princess_fireball]

Okay say that you start a lot of causal conversations, but the person on the other end doesn't say much at all to carry the conversation though. Given that this person is really shy, but shouldn't they still try to carry on a bit of a conversation with you or even start some of there own and ask questions to get to know you more?

[DancingHamster]

The difference:

 

"Love" is an actual word in the English language.

 

"InfaCtuation" isn't.

 

Did you mean "infatuation"?

 

If so, I'd say "love" is an educated emotion. Infatuation is ignorant.

 

And the shy thing? Don't expect much. I've had major crushes on two extremely shy guys...and it turns out they liked me, too...but I didn't learn about it way after I'd lost all interest. It's very difficult for a shy person to carry on a conversation. Decide how much energy you're willing to invest.

[princess_fireball]

sorry my bad....i'm not much of a speller obviously...that and i type fast so i don't catch the way i word or spell....well words....lol. And I am willing to invest all the energy that I posses.

[jna35]

Geez.... don't apologize for your spelling. We all knew what you meant I do the same thing. I get on a roll and don't really notice what I've typed.

 

That question of love and infatuation is a good one!

 

I think love is unconditional (well, should be), it's accepting, kind, gentle, and patient.

 

For me, infatuation is more of a lustful thing.

 

I'm sure you will get many different definitions. I think they mean different things to everyone.

 

As far as conversations with shy people, just be patient. The more comfortable they are, the more they will open up!

[darkblue]

Couldn't agree more jna35.

 

infatuation is similar to lust, in that there is all the 'symptoms' of love, minus the 'til death do us part'. So to speak.

 

Love - caring deeply about someone. With them no matter what.

 

Lust/infatuation - Strong sexual desires to be with someone. Verging on obsession but not as intense.

[frustratedWithLife]

Even for a shy person, when you love someone you will become more comfortable with time and accept the fact that they love you. You'll find that a shy person can become rather social with the person they love and through that may become more social in general. I myself have gone through this and have noticed that I am more comfortable with my gf than anyone I've ever been with previously. She even makes me more comfortable talking to her than if I were talking with my own family.

 

I guess with this you caould also say that love is comfort...

[princess_fireball]

DancingHamster could you please enlighten me on what you meant by saying "If so, I'd say "love" is an educated emotion. Infatuation is ignorant."

 

Also in general if it is infatuation how much time does it take for this feeling to go away? Several months....years even?

 

And as for the being comfortable thing, she has told me that she is more open with me than with anybody in her entire life. So, that is really good thing....still yet our conversations aren't rolling....it's basically me trying to get her to talk by just rambling on and on about something. However, that is fine, at least then she is getting to know me that way....and when she's up to it, maybe she will start a conversation on her own.

 

Plus this is the first time that she has even really dated anyone and she's not really a socialite....spends most of her free time on the computer or watching tv. She also doesn't have many close friends. So, I figure, like I have read on here just give her some time to open up. Hopefully, time is all she needs.

 

Personally, with myself I think that I have only been in love once before. I first meet him in january of last year. We hung out a lot and then the spring semester was over and we didn't see each other as often. I started to miss him and eventually I realized what it was. I was always happy to get his emails, thought of him all the time, got a warm feeling inside, etc. I have always heard if you can imagine spending the rest of your life with just this one person then you are in love. Do you guys think that that is true?

 

So, with this other person I have the same thing going on, but we have only known each other for like four months. And have been dating for and month and a half. What do you guys think now?

[rak]

you know what, that was my whole deal with somebody i broke up with not too long ago. i couldn't talk to her that well. i was extremely attracted to her and i wanted it to turn to love but we just never talked that well. i need that in a girl. i need a girl i can sit with at and just talk to and find pretty funny and interesting. i felt real stupid for breaking up with a gorgeous girl who loved me, was sweet, caring, honest, but we were just on different wavelenghts, ya know? i think you have to decide if you can be without it, i mean, can you deal with them just being real quiet? i can't. it makes me crazy when i feel so close to somebody in some ways and so far in others. i was in something for a year and a half waiting for somebody to change cause i saw their "potential," in fact that's what my last girlfriend was too, but i decided i didn't want to try to love somebody or wait for them to "blossom," or change. i didn't feel that was right. i know time opens people up, but you have to decide what you love about them and if you can deal with what they lack and you still feel good around them. that's my gospel.