how and when to ask her..

[justwonderingkid]

this is a really weird situation for me...i guess ill start with telling everyone reading this a little about myself for backround. I am 15, and will be going into my sophomore year of highschool this fall. the girl i really like is one year younger than me and will be starting high school this fall as a freshman. i really like her and she likes me too. this is probally the strangest situation ever but...i know that when i ask her out she will say yes because somehow it came up. i havent seen her since 4 or 5 months ago however because during school since i was in high school and she was in jr high it was too hard for us to meet up and during summer so far her parents have done a good job of letting her do anything so i havent seen her. this coming wednesday i will see her at great america(for those of you who dont know what that is, it is an amusement park). however since she knows that i am going to ask her out..should i ask her to be my gf there? and how do i say it? i always thot that i should just say: would you be my gf? but is great america a good place to do it? should i wait until maybe the next time we go somewhere? please keep in mind that neither of us can drive, her parents are paranoid about guys, and that i havent seen her in many months.

[jna35]

Great America is a lot of fun and I hope you guys have a great time. Where you haven't seen each other for a while it seems like you may be jumping the gun a little by asking her to be your gf so quickly. Have you thought about dating for a bit first and then asking her. As for how, just tell her what's in your heart. I don't think she'll care too much where you do it, but some young girls have lots of romantic notions, so a more special place might be in order if that's the kind of girl she is. Good luck to you!

[justwonderingkid]

im not sure i put this in my initial post but we did somehow get to the topic of me asking her out while i was talking to her on IM and she knows i will ask her out eventually just not when, where, and how...because while we were talking she was even like: dont tell me how you are going to ask me out keep a surprise. yeah knowing that she already knows sorta should be good right?

[jna35]

It sounds like she wants you to ask her. Yes, that's a good sign. Good luck!

[Elfdrinkingtea]

This is shouldn't be a difficult task for you Justwonderingkid. Here is what you could do. When you and her are on a seat of a ride ( you have to sit next to her to do this), you tell her this." Hey i like hanging out with you, would you like to go out with me sometime?" IF she says, which according to the insight that you give here she will definitely says, YEs! U can also do tihs when you guys get off the ride. Good lucky JustWonderingkid.

[justwonderingkid]

but isnt asking someone out, and asking someone to be your girlfriend different things, and if not..which one is better to say: will you go out with me, or will you be my gf?

[jna35]

I sent you a couple pm's so hopefully you got those. Yes, asking a girl on a date is different than asking her to be your gf. I guess it depends on what you want. If you want her to be your girlfriend then you will need to ask her. If you just want to take her out then you'll need to ask her if she'd like to go to a movie or whatever you have planned.

[justwonderingkid]

jna35, i havent received your pm's. and maybe i should add she has never gone out with a guy before or had a bf, if that makes any difference

[jna35]

Hmmmm....perhaps they are lost or there is some sort of delay. Basically, I just said that since she seems to want a surprise then maybe you should make it a special outing. I assume you are in Santa Clara County since you mentioned Great America. I suggested a nice picnic at Vasona Park or maybe The Friendship Gardens. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but I'm sure your thoughtfulness and effort would be appreciated. Also, if you can bring her flowers, even just a single rose or something out of your garden (or your neighbors with their permission) that would be a nice touch. These things don't cost a lot of money, but can mean much more than expensive gifts. Also, just be yourself, be sweet, be respectful, which I'm sure you are and everything will fall into place.

[justwonderingkid]

should i ask her out before i ask her to be my gf?

[jna35]

Well, that's entirely up to you. How long and how well did you say you know her? If you've known her for a while then you could both ask her out and ask her to be your gf. If you don't know her very well then I would suggest getting to know her a bit better first.

[justwonderingkid]

we havent seen each other that much but i talked to her alot on IM and ive seen her a few times. and i know her really really well but mostly from IM

[jna35]

Well, then why not just play it by ear. Have a couple fun dates and see how you are feeling about the situation then. I mean, there's no rush, right? Have some fun together and then if you feel there's something between you, ask her to be your gf.

[lady00]

I think that you can't go wrong if you ask her out on a few dates first and then eventually ask her to be your gf. If you're conflicted over whether to ask her out on a date or to ask her to be your gf, your best bet is to just start by asking her out on a date and then later ask her to be your gf, after you've had a few dates and become more comfortable being romantic with each other.

[jna35]

By the way, make sure you let me know how it goes!! I'm sure you'll be just fine. Dating can be a lot of fun. Just get to know each other and go from there. Will you guys be going to the same school in the fall?

[justwonderingkid]

we will both be going to the same school in the fall so i think i should probally wait until school starts to ask her out? i probally wont get to see her more than twice until school starts because her parents are completely guy paranoid.

[jna35]

I think that's a good idea. In the meantime you can still IM and keep in touch. Schoo will be starting pretty soon anyway. I can't blame her parents. I know I'll be "guy paranoid" too when my daughter, almost 11 starts dating. You'll probably understand our feelings better when you are a lot older and a parent yourself. A word of advice, always treat her with respect and her folks will respect you!

[yokohama_mama]

I think since you haven't seen her in person for four or five months you should just ask her to go out somewhere with you, instead of directly asking her to be your girlfriend. Don't try to make things too intense too soon. Just go have fun together and get more comfortable around each other (I know you're comfortable with each other over IM but being together in person is different)