a virgins nightmare

[activelife81]

i am 22, and stayed a virgin up until recently. the girl i got with is the first girl ive really loved...one problem...i cant stop thinking about her "others" she's been with 4 guys and shes 20 yrs old. i'm not too concerned about her first 3 relationships because they werent much but she was with her 4th guy for 2 years and they had sex like 10 times and tried quite a few things that make me sick to think her doing with someone else shes dark-skinned and he was black...and im white...and ive heard black girls and guys are alot bigger is that true? im worried this is gonna cause problems. our first experience was not what i wished it would be...i could barely even get hard, and i think its because i had so much on my mind about her past i love her and i would love to forget everything shes done but i cant help the fact that those thoughts run through my head!!! what can i do?! has anyone else ever had that problem from waiting? im really upset about it

[Trojanmn2]

Okay man, I'll help you out. It is definitely NOT TRUE that black guys are always bigger. SO what. Its how you use your tool. If you don't have confidence in your own self including your piece, you'll never be good. You don't want her to see that do you? No? okay. I was with a dark skinned girl and her b/f before me was black. So what, I didn't keep in lingerin in my mind and felt good about my self. Now, she thinks I'm the best she's ever had because I knew I had to use it. She even claims that he was bigger than me, but I went for longer. Thats the bad thing about waiting I believe that when its time for the business, there wasn't enough training. You can still reclaim yourself to do better next time. Use techniques. I you need some PM me.

[segagirl]

Ok first of all you are being a little judgemental. Not all people wait, and it means nothing more than the persons readiness. Girls do not comapre thier lovers in the way that you think. We do not have sex for the sake of having sex. We do it for the emotional connection. If you are worried about things like experience and size I would say the only person having an issue with this is you. Has she complained? I dont think so. And just to clarify its what you do with it, and how you love us that matters....not the size. And trust just as many white boys have large one's as well....no need to sterotype.

So you want to be happy, well the only person stopping you ...is you.

Her past is just that, a part of her that makes her special. Some i am sure she learned from, and some Im sure she wishes she could forget.

So dont be so tough on her...or should i say dont be so tough on yourself.

[activelife81]

i know, i know, you're all right i have no freakin excuse why i am acting like this or being concerned about the stuff i am. she made every indication that i was pleasing to her...its just all in my damn head!! why did i have to wait all these years? i really regret staying a virgin because i feel like i did it for nothing since i ended up being with a girl who didnt wait for me anyways. and on top of that, it gave me emotional baggage, insecurities and stress that i dont need.

 

she wishes she could forgot those times too, and she regrets doing any of it from what shes told me....because she "hates to think how much of herself she gave to those guys" and now that shes more mature it makes her sick and sad to no end. you would think i could have a heart and consider all that wouldnt ya? but dammit, my mind is stuck in tunnel vision and i keep replaying scenes from her past in my head. why? because...i wanted my first time(s) for everything to be special and unique to me AND my girl...and now im gonna be alone in the experiences

[segagirl]

ok tunnel vision. lol

You are incorrect in the statement that you will not be experiencing things for the first time with eachother. I assure you everything you do with her is based on how the two of you feel about eachother, and each time you touch her it will be special to only the two of you. You will explore new things...and the way she feels...well if she loves you it could never compare to another.

Chill, and be free to start new with her. the memories you make will be special, trust.

(ps....waiting was not a mistake)

[activelife81]

sega, id really like us to be able to talk sometime...i appreciate your advice and u sound really mature and everything. believe it or not, im usually pretty smart too...i just made my life complicated. you know how to get ahold of me, feel free to use that knowledge sometime. *my apologies to everyone else that this was not a real post*

[brandos lovechild]

hey everyone,

 

I just want to give some general advice. IN FUTURE,DO NOT TELL YOUR PARTNERS YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY OR ASK ABOUT THEIRS...it is nothing but destructive !! Weak-minded people might say " but the honesty and truthfulness of it can bring you closer"..but women can handle this type of thing much better than the majority of men ! GOOD LUCK 8)

[Gilgamesh]

Brando's advice should be well taken, dont ask about her past, if she brings something up, tell her that , all that is not important to you, that whats important is how she is with you in the NOW.

[Turboz]

Ok I've not read all the posts so please forgive me if this is repeated advice.

 

My honest opinion is that if your too busy thinking about her previous sexual history with other men when you are attempting to have sex with her then forget it.

 

If you really like her eventually your mind will naturally overcome these issues. It may take some time but eventually your mind will deal with the issues. Once you've got yourself a little cleared up mentally then proceed one step at a time. Don't just try and have sex with her because "It's got to be done". Make sure you feel COMFORTABLE with her first.

[revol]

hey everyone,

 

I just want to give some general advice. IN FUTURE,DO NOT TELL YOUR PARTNERS YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY OR ASK ABOUT THEIRS...it is nothing but destructive !! Weak-minded people might say " but the honesty and truthfulness of it can bring you closer"..but women can handle this type of thing much better than the majority of men ! GOOD LUCK 8)

That might be good advice for some people, but I (being a guy) was very thankful my girlfriend shared with me how far she'd gone before. I think that some people can't handle it, but yes, her honesty has brought us closer.

[pcp]

im a female and i have the same problem the author of this thread has.

 

im very jealous and was a virgin until the current bf.

 

hes been with 4-6 (i forget) other girls

 

im also very egotistical and the thought of him comparing me to these other girls makes me angry (dont know if he really does or not), i know thats a personal problem i shouldnt be taking out on him, but i dont. its something i keep to myself.

 

i have told him before jokingly hes a slut some people cant grasp the "humor" in that, but to me it was a moderate relief for me to sort of let him know my feelings towards it. (the discussion didnt really go further after that, but it was sorta the icing on the cake for my fury)

 

it bothered me a lot for the first year and a half of the relationship but now my anger is slowly diminishing, it probably will for you too once you realize shes dedicated to you and only you.

 

girls can be jealous too 8)

 

its not something i recommend to dwell on, it will make you more furious thinking about it.

 

my bf didnt know me when he was sexing these other girls, so he didnt know i was coming along so he didnt save himself, the same can be said for your gf.

i wouldnt say i "saved" myself for him, i just didnt feel the need to do it with anyone up till that point.

[pcp]

double post, i dont kow how to request a delete