Fake Friend!

[eviljedi]

Hey, I just realized that one of my best friends for 3 years has really not been my friend at all! Over the past few months I've noticed some negative behaviour from him, not interested in contacting me, trying to slag me in front of other friends (in a joking sort of way, but I knew he really meant the things he said). Also, when some of my other friends are going out then he will tell them not to invite me to parties and things. I guess the only reason for him acting like this is because he's jealous, I'm going away to university and he will be stuck here in a crappy job.

 

Most of my other friends have grown further apart since I left school and now that he is out to get me, I've got a feeling I will loose my friends that hang around with him as well. To be honest I'm not really that bothered about them because I know I will make new friends at Uni anyway, but for the next few months I'm not sure how to act towards them, should I just tell them they are jerks, or should I just not contact them and see what happens?

 

I really don't want to confront him about it because about a year ago we fell out for a while because he was always putting me down and I was really depressed.

 

Any advice on this situation would be really helpful

 

Thanks

eviljedi

[depress_chick_123]

dude if he is treating u like this he is not yr friend is jsut so up tight that u r smart and well hes not but i hate to say it but its the truth and if yr other friends are acting like this becuz of him then for get them and him. so what they hate u. u make new friends and u got a whole life a head of u dont get this little thing get u down. i learn that the hard way with my so called friends well...i am jsut a freshmen well going to be but i kno how it feels to be in yr palce. jsut what i did was i stop hanging around them stop calling them and if they called me i wouldnt answer. becuz they were @$$ holes and just useing me for some other bull$#!t. HE is jealous that u have something that he wants and it pisses him off to see u happy and him feeling like $#!t. so just tell them to f*** off(not 4 real but u kno what i mean)and work on getting better and smater with your going to yr university and you'll see that things will blow over for him and like he'll get over it and jsut dont let him get to u or anyone else. jsut stay strong and soon yr life will brighten up after u get over him. and his bull$#!t friends. you'll see just u make them right chocies in yr life right now and great things will come to you just u see.

[30something]

Hello.

 

I discovered that one of my so called bestfriends was not really my friend at all, as well. Unlike your 3 year friendship, I've known my so called bestfriend for over 25 years. In the past year, her real feelings towards me came out after all these years. Fake friend indeed!

 

Now for your problem. You discovered your friend is fake and now you're worried about loosing your other mutual friends right? If your "mutual" friends are REALLY your friends they won't ditch you. So I guess what I'm getting at is are they more friends w/your fake friend or more your friend or are they equally friends to you both? The answer really makes all the difference in how to handle the situation.

 

1. If they are more his friends, then they will listen to whatever he says about you and I would just find other friends to hang with.

 

2. If they are more your friend, they won't listen to what the fake friend has to say about you and I would just continue to be friends w/them.

 

3 If they are both equally, then they are probably just trying to keep from getting caught up in which side to take. Don't put them in a position to take sides, but just continue to be friends w/them.

 

Once you go to University, then you will most likely loose contact with all of them anyway as people and their interest change. Just remember, a true friend will always be there for you. A bestfriend will be one who goes to jail w/you and says we screwed up and would not one who just would merely be there to bail you out of jail! lol!

[Prezkot]

I don't know how much relevance it has exactly but yeah in my case a former best friend of mine makes our meetings feel like a chore- like he has to as a commitment for his past- not because we still find each other particular interesting. Our personalities differ so greatly.

 

Just hang in there. If they are hatin' you just forget them. You'll meet plenty of people, hopefully some true blue personalities, at uni.