it just hit me, the reason I don't have a bf.

[QTpie87]

So as I was sittign all alone tonight without a bf watching fireworks it donged on me. I don't have a bf because of how hyper and talkitive and just weird I am. Im not like a nerd or anything, im just weird, sense of humor wise that is. I look like a normal everyday girl but then when I open my mouth it's like all over, Im either too hyper, too out there, or too tom boyesh for guys. I'm the friend type and im sick of it. I want to keep my humor, but I also want to be different. I have this shy problem around a guy I really have a pretty big crush on and I can't be me cause I know it will freak him out, but I can't not be me or I get all nervous and shy. I need like so much help. I really wanna get this guy.Has anyone ever changed themselfs from a major tom boy hoples wreck into a girly guy getter? and if so how. please help, im at a loss.

[btbt]

QTpie87, I felt a lot like you when I was your age. I was quirky and had an odd sense of humor and talked a lot. But, what I think you should work on is not changing yourself, but enjoying the company of people who appreciate you. I don't know if you are out of high school yet, but I think as you get a little bit older, go to college or start working, you'll find your social world expanding and you will find yourself drawn to places and people that jive with your personality more.

 

As for getting the guy you like, just be yourself! Cliched advice, I know, but if you are not yourself and you DO get the guy, then the relationship won't last, or else you will spend the relationship always trying to be someone you aren't. Who wants to spend a relationship (or their life) being someone they are not. I wrote this on another post, but a poet friend of mine said the worst thing is to spend your life as someone else. How would it feel to have someone else's name on your headstone?

 

Having said that, if it is important for you to be feel more feminine, you can start with simple things like wearing more feminine clothes or changing your hairstyle. But don't change your personality.

[Mun]

Hi there,

Well I'm way older than you, but maybe his will help you anyway. What helped me a bit was to be quieter than usual on my first few dates. I'm kinda shy so I talk too much when I'm nervous...and it's a turn off. I found this out when I went with a guy who wouldn't shut up. lol.

 

Try it out and see how it works for you.

 

I'm not saying change who you are girl, just be a better version of yourself. If you are quieter you will be calmer and you are less likely to say something embarrassing or dumb.

 

Good luck!

[Liquidius]

There isnt wrong with a quirkly sense of humour, I have one. Ok, so it does tend to scare some people, but as far as I'm concerned, that's their problem, not mine I've always stuck by the thesis of being yourself, and its a good one. If you try to be someone your not, you can get yourself into all sorts of unwanted situations.

 

The time I tried to be someone that I wasn't all ended in tears. I tried so hard, and in the end I just exploded. Don't try it. Just be you

[Inconceivable]

You should never change yourself because you think others will like you more. Change yourself because YOU want to feel different. I used to be more of a guy than a girl, and I didn't feel quite right like that. So now I buy shirts that are much less baggy, but they're not skin tight either. I'm still rough and tom-boyish, but I clean up quite nice =)

 

You can be both. Trust me, I'm just like what you described. Talkative, I'm quite random, very hyper, and I have a lot of guy friends.

 

The trick is the find the you that you are comfortable with and then live your life as that person. If you don't like pancakes, don't eat pancakes! If you don't want to wear perfume, don't wear perfume! Just be yourself =)

[Blackmsmithdave]

be yourself, im weird too, and felt exactly the same at your age, bt now im older i wouldnt change for the world. i am who i am and i like it. You might be weird but listen to this. I like sci fi, horror, camping, reading, sword fighting, acrobatics, im a blacksmith, i make armour and swords, i drink out of a leather tankard, i play chess, and playstation, i cook weird food, that only i can eat, and i love drinking but hate gettting drunk. and i havent even scratched the surface, oh and i dress like Indiana Jones.

 

im weird and i love it, change yourself now for anyone and you will be sooooooo boring, also i do hereby place a bet, that i am one of the weirdest people around. weird as in not stereotype, nothing medical please. contestants must 13 or over, no ID required. lol (no one will take me up on this)

 

Stay the way you are and have faith that you will meet someone just as weird and strange as you, you will have fun and do all sorts of weird things together, as weird people, also you are one of the few intresting types out there.

[darkblue]

There's also guys like you.

 

Guys that are equally as talkitive/weird what ever you want to call it.

 

Don't change. Give it time.

 

You are still young.

 

You'll find someone who can accept you for you.

 

Good luck

[fantasia2004]

being you, being comfortable as you are, with only yourself is the only way to be whole and complete.

 

I learned this the hard way.

 

As these other posters write on their posts, they have the right idea. I am not saying this to ride their coattails, I am just saying they have the right idea in mind and we all should stick to the same concept.

 

If others are not feeling you as the person you have become then they are not worth your time or energy. Leave them alone.

 

God put us on this earth to be different and secure with ourselves while helpiong others in this world.

 

If you choose to be someone other than yourself,then you would never be able to make or retain friends. I learn this lesson too the hard way.

[fantasia2004]

One more thing, When we try to do that by being someone else other than our self, we sabotage our own lives to please others.

 

 

When you accept yourself as the person you are, others will eventually gravitate towards you accpeting you too.