In Love, But What To Do?

[Confessoress]

Hi everyone

 

I've been dating a guy for 3 Months now. I'm 21, he is 22. He lives 4 hours by car from me.

 

We originally knew each other from 4 years ago on the internet. Since April this year our relationship changed to something more than that. In May we spent 4 days together alone, going to special movie premier event. We both met somewhere central for that. It was wonderful, but the best part was spending time with him. After it we spent lots of time SMS, calling each other, IMing the works much more than before.

 

In June we spent another wonderful week together just hanging out at my place, he travelled down here to be with me and that week I realised that I was most likely in love with him. I looked for indictions he felt the same, I'm not 100% sure but I feel he's getting to that point.

 

Things are still going great. I can't stop thinking about him and from his actions he can't stop thinking about me either.

 

I want to tell him I love him on one hand, but on the other I want him to be the one that says it first. I don't want to say it and scare him off (not that I think it would) or at lest put a dampener on the relationship. Do you think it's too soon to tell him I love him? Should I keep it under wraps under he says it? It's driving me crazy. Why is it so important I say it?

 

Thanks!

[darkblue]

What ever you are comfortable with.

 

If you're not sure. Wait for him to make the first suggestion.

 

This is a LDR?

 

How often do yous see eachother?

 

Do you know it's love?

 

Slower is better. You don't have to rush into anything. Take it slowly and easily.

[Confessoress]

Thank you for your reply Dark blue

 

Yes, it's a LDR, but he's not so far away that it's impossible.

 

Right now we've been spending 1 week every Month physically together. However, we do talk everyday and have done indepthly for 3-4 Months now.

 

Do I know it's love? As sure as one can be. I've become rather cynical as to what love is as I've had 2 bad relationships previous to this one. But I can feel it deep in my gut, but I'm trying to use my head a little more. I'm not one to say I love you unless I truelly feel I mean it.

[darkblue]

Good for you.

 

Sounds like your doing it all right.. Cautious to a point. But able to open up.

 

Just take each day as it comes.

 

I'm sure you'll know what's best for you .

[annie24]

Honestly, I wouldn't say it. I would wait for him to say it. What would you do if you said it, and he said, "Uh... thanks" or, "Oh yeah, I like you too." You'd be crushed.

 

How are his actions towards you? Is he reliable, respectful towards you? Does he make plans in advance, does he offer to do nice things for you? How does he make you feel? Happy and loved, or insecure?

[Confessoress]

Thanks for the reply annie24. Well, his actions towards me?

 

He said to me "I'll be with you for as long as either you dump me or I get hit by a bus".

 

He went to a lot of effort to get us tickets for the premiere because he knew I really wanted to go. Travelled accross the Country to visit me. He spent a whole day fixing my computer. Brought me tea and crossiants in bed. Rang up a high cellphone bill but told me "But in all honesty, you are worth it". I was working once and I said I was starving, 20 minutes later the doorbell rang, he had paid for and ordered me a pizza.

 

He strokes my hand and hair, creeps up behind me to hug me. When he kisses me sometimes he looks into my eyes for quite a while afterwards. During sex he even looks me in the eyes. I caught him looking at me when while I supposed to be sleeping.

 

He's reliable, has never done anything for me to doubt him. He respects me.

 

If I'm tired he'll say something like "Honey, you don't have to stay up and watch this with me. Come on lets go to bed." He always tells me "I'm not forcing you. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with, it's fine with me."

 

He makes me feel very happy

[annie24]

awwww.... it sounds like you have nothing to worry about! Just enjoy things.... I bet when he is ready, he'll say the "L" word.

[Confessoress]

I worry too much, I think Is it any wonder I'm in love with him though!?

 

I think you're right Annie, I should can it and wait for him to say it.

 

Thanks

[Confessoress]

I'm in Agony.

 

Here's my problem. He's very judgement of me. Always analyzing everything I do to check if it makes him feel the right way. So far apparently I have done everything right, but sometimes I say things that aren't to his HIGHLY picky liking and I know it when he doesn't contact me so often. It's doing me in, because I'm in love with this guy and he is being really hard on me.

 

I'm really starting to think that I'm a step ahead of him. I feel miserable that he is judging me so much. He has aspects about him that drive me crazy, but I love him anyway. But his reactions towards me sometimes make me wonder if he loves me, or is even falling in love with me. If I'm upset he doesn't go out of his way to comfort me, like I do him. If I have something on my mind he asks if I want to talk, but isn't that bothered if I don't… but on the other hand read what I wrote in the other post.

 

His EX ran off with his best friend in the past, after he had given her everything. He made plans and it went bad. Now he doesn't want to make plans and take each day as it comes. And each time I say something emotional is a day that I'm adding to the bad things... He says this has nothing to do with his behaviour now... but I'm not so sure. He hasn't dated anyone since her 2 years ago, he enjoys being single and he's had plenty offers. So thereforeeee he must really like me to be with me but...

 

I'm so confused and hurting so badly. I came out of a relationship where it was all about what the guy wanted and needed, I scarified everything to make him happy and he didn't give it back in return. I broke up with him, he was really upset and said he loved me so much… but I can't see how he could have loved me. When I love someone I want to make them happy, want to give them everything and I don't think twice about it. Problem is I always end up heart broken and I feel it's happening all over again.

 

What about my feelings? Is he being selfish?