Can't be friend with the one i love

[Elfdrinkingtea]

I have found out over the year that I can't be friend with the one that i love. It was just impossible. I had often told myself to get over the girl that i love and be her friend. But whenever I spent time with them, the feeling comes back and i end up thinking about them everday for weeks. During those time i would ignore and avoid talking to them. This is a serious problem, I had tried not to ignore or avoid them, act normal, but it just didnt' work.

 

Any advice would be welcome.

[lady00]

Same here. I understand completely. For me even if I'm not in love but am still very attracted to the person and we have broken up, I just can't be friends. It hurts too much. Sorry you have to go throught that but I think most people understand where you're coming from.

[Reilly2856]

Emotions can't be controlled, and so if you feel really strongly about someone, its hard to act otherwise. However, sometimes you do need to take into account what the other person feels. If the other person just wants to be friends, why lose that? Clearly, if you care about the person a lot, wouldn't u at least want to have her in your life, even if it means just being her friend? On the other hand, sometimes this is hard to do. During those times, its better you take a short time away from her till you are better able to either control your feelings or find someone else to love.

[plasticheartsandsmiles]

My ex has this same problem with me. He lets me in to a certain point and then pushes me away because he starts having feelings for me again. Did you break up with your ex or did she break up with you? If you broke up with her and still have these feelings then maybe you should mention them to her and see if theres any chance you can reconcile your differences. If she broke up with you and if you really want her friendship, even though you get the romantic feelings when you're around her, maybe you should keep hanging out with her and just get used to the idea of her JUST being your friend. i think if you guys remain STRICTLY friends you'll fall into that routine. best of luck to you.

[silentone14]

Maybe you could try wooing her if your going to go insane. Point signs to the fact that you really want to be with her. But you for sure need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. It is of the utmost importance that she knows how you feel. Or you can do things a safer way. Completely shut her out for a long time and think about other people. It hurts real bad sometimes but it will hurt worse later if you get rejected or dumped later.

[Elfdrinkingtea]

The thing with your plan, silentone14, is that I had already told her that i like her. She didn't say anything back. I even asked her out and she told me that she made an oath to herself that she will not date any guys till she is eighteen. Lately i have been aloofing my self from her. I didn't talk to her much or hanging out with her as much as i use to be. It was I who making things awkward between us, not her. It was I that act all weird around her.

[The1]

just start getting farther away from her. dont talk to her, and try not to think about her. it feels just as bad being their friend and not being with them as it does not being friends with her at all. just try to stop thinking about her because if she decides that she doesnt want you, then you'll most likely never be with her. get out more and meet other girls. have fun