Step Right Up and Meet the Newest Fool

[BlueWave]

Hi everyone:

 

Step right up and meet the newest fool---got myself taken in by someone I THOUGHT was a friend. I was so worried about not hurting his feelings that I made myself the biggest horse's behind in the world.

 

I posted on another thread a few days ago (The Cat's Out of the Bag). Oh yeah, the cat is out of the bag and laughing at me too !!!!

 

My friend out of the blue tells me that "If I didn't have a BF- he'd be very very very happy" a few days ago. So today I go to confront him on it. I ask if I can speak with him privately about what he said and he politely refuses to go. I ask if I can email him about it, and he shruggs his shoulders. He then tells me (are you ready for this) that HE DOESN'T REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID ?!?!?! That's right, in less than 48 hours he forgot what he said. I tried to reassure him that I wasn't mad and no one was going to get hurt or anything like that and he tells me he doesn't remember. I only want to tell him that I was flattered. So the bottom line is that I told him that I was flattered over something he claims he doesn't remember !!! Then he tells me he has a GF. I told him I was happy for him and I genuinely am. All these months he had a GF and he never told me, but then says he wishes I didn't have a BF. I am so mad at him now, I can barely see straight while typing this.

 

I am a fool, I'm a horse's behind and I will learn NEVER to trust even my friend(s) ever again !!!

 

All I wanted to do was have things go smoothly and I look like the jerk.

[lady00]

He probably doesn't have a girlfriend and just regrets telling you he has feelings for you but honestly neither of you has anything to gain from him saying that to you so i wouldn't worry about it.

[Shadows Light]

Blue... count yourself lucky that it ended before it began. How bad would you have felt had he led you down further down the garden path and "forgotten" many more things he had said.

 

I was married to such a person.... who'd say things or do things and forget. Its called "crazy making"....

 

Pick yourself up... dust yourself off and walk with your head held high. In the words of scarlet o'hara..."tomorrow is another day".

[kskm]

I don't believe him. I don't think that he has a girlfriend, and I think that he DOES in fact remember. He probably feels stupid and didn't want to talk about it thinking that you were going to make him feel even more stupid so he lied.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I agree with kskm. He doesn't have a gf. He thought you were going to reject him or be angry at him. He remembers. He has a crush on you and wont admit to it now. Did you have any feelings for him?

[BlueWave]

It's so weird. I didn't have any romantic feelings for him, but he was someone I trusted. I must correct myelf, he said he was "seeing someone" (not a GF-yet), but he was unsure of where the relationship was going. Again, we've been close for about nine months and he NEVER mentioned a girl to me. At the same time, he never wanted to hear about my BF and never asked or wanted to be around him. He would hint about me going out to a club or bar (by myself), but never asked me out. Then out of nowhere he tells me this and then claims he doesn't remember. I don't know if I can forgive him, but my trust is certainly shattered. I feel as if he took me for a fool. All I wanted to tell him was that I was flattered and if I wasn't attached, I would go out with him. His "amnesia" never gave me that opportunity. I flirted with the idea of emailing him, but that might look as if I'm persuing him (which I am not). I think the hardest thing right now is coming to terms with being lied to from someone you trust.

 

Also, when he made his comment, he also added that "maybe one day you'll be unattached. I hope you'll be patient with me" or something to that effect. How anyone can claim to forget that in two days is just a plain liar and that's what hurts the most.

[BlueWave]

Blue... count yourself lucky that it ended before it began. How bad would you have felt had he led you down further down the garden path and "forgotten" many more things he had said.

 

I was married to such a person.... who'd say things or do things and forget. Its called "crazy making"....

 

Pick yourself up... dust yourself off and walk with your head held high. In the words of scarlet o'hara..."tomorrow is another day".

 

Shadows: I can't imagine life with someone like that. Yes it is "crazy making" and it makes me question my own perceptions and sanity.

 

Tomorrow is another day and it will be a better one.

[Reilly2856]

Look at the bright side: if he comes back later and tries to flatter you some more or pursue something, you can fake amnesia..... see how he likes the taste of his own medicine. Bottom line, we all make stupid mistakes in life, what matters is that we don't let it get you down. Why give him a second thought? Forget about what he said you said.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Blue you are honestly overreacting. He's simply afraid of being rejected or hurt by you, that's all. Just play it off and act like you don't know he remembers. It honestly sounds like you might have a little something for him. There's a sense of jealousy here.

[BlueWave]

You guys are right. I guess I am overreacting. I took being lied to very personally. I didn't quite examine the reasons through. It has nothing to do with jealousy. I wish him nothing but the best. I just wish he went about it differently.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Blue well if you are in anyway whatsoever attracted to him he probably wouldn't make a bad lover if things ever go sour with your current love stuff. He needs of course to get some self-esteem and to be told not to lie esp about stupid stuff like this. You guys probably communicate well normally though.

[Spirits Away]

He knows how to flirt, but don't take flirting too seriously cause it's usually a trap whether it's from a guy or a girl. By that i don't mean it's an intentional trap, but it seems to be something people do without needing to be responsible.

 

I don't think you should take what you did and what he said as humiliation. Just act like nothing happened. Say your usual greeting to him, do your usual thing. If you made it seem like one, you're basically telling him that "hey i like you, why didn't you like me back". You'd just confirms something that's not true.

 

But to tell you the truth, If i were in your shoe, and if i have no feelings for the person but did what you did, I wouldn't care whether the person thinks I like her or not. Let them think whatever they want