cant seem to get over it, so frustrated

[catgirl82]

im so frustrated, i cant seem to move on. i was involved with this guy for about 6 weeks and he was GREAT, super sweet, treated me so well. i liked him alot. we never established what we were- we were just having fun and keeping things light. then he told me that he wasnt ready to start dating seriously and that we should stop doing what we were doing. we've kept in touch, mainly over email. when we were together i could tell he really liked me, and i really liked him. he just got freaked out i guess. anyway, i still want to maintain a friendship with him but i still really really miss what we had and i cant get over it. whenever he emails me i get super excited, but i know i shouldnt get my hopes up. i want to stay friends and maybe someday soon he'll change his mind and want to get involved with me again, but im not going to push it. do you think what im doing is unhealthy? my roommate says she doesnt like him b/c if he really liked me he wouldve dated me, and why would i want to be invovled with someone who has issues like this. i wrote in an earlier post how he broke up w/ his serious girlfriend in january and was so devastated that he lost 25 lbs. he told me this, and he said hes just not ready for another serious relationship. uuughh im so frustrated. i try to talk to new guys but i cant forget about him for some reason. can anybody offer up some advice so i can stop obsessing?

[guapa]

I had an experience kind of like that, though both of us had just ended relationships and were still communicating in some way with our exes. talk about messed up.

 

But what I learned from it was that he just hung out with me because he liked the idea of someone liking him. I think he also knew that was the case, because when I said that via email, he never addressed that but agreed we would not hang out anymore. He kept playing with me, wanting to hang out, and then after we slept together (mostly) he said he decided he wasn't ready for a relationship. (messed up). So, anyhow, being in the situation he is in is probably confusing, but it doesn't seem good for you to have to deal with it, you know? I know you may want to be supportive or something and want to hang out waiting for him to come around, but I think you should move on, let him heal and then maybe he'll call you. You might want to tell him NC for a month or two and tell him it is so that you don't have to keep hoping. I'm not sure, really, but I was glad when I ended contact with that other guy. It just kept hurting to hang out with him or email him.

[loveydovey]

I agree with guapa. I think that he is just a bit confused but that's not to say he wasnt sincere in the talks that the two of you shared. But I do believe his emotions are probably all over the place. Just give him a little space and don't appear to come on too too strong . Because if something real and special does form between you two, wouldn't you want it to be after he's healed and better able to move on rather than in the midst of all his confusion, pain, and frustration from his last break-up?