Girlfriend about to abandon me

[boltnrun]

22 minutes ago, guyguy420 said:

If I do ever plan to be a father, no. 
People have brought this up before, and I'm not sure what to think about it. Obviously not, but I would like to think by anytime I do start to want children or put myself at risk for them (not like I get any sex lol), we or at least I would be past these issues. 

I'm no anti-natalist, but I do hate kids so not a huge concern.

Well, you are good at dodging questions!

I wasn't asking if you wanted kids or if you think you'd be a good father. I'm trying to get you to see how absolutely self destructive remaining in this relationship is. And you don't seem to want to leave the relationship.

How she acted toward you a year ago or whenever is irrelevant. There's no going back to how she was in the beginning because that wasn't the true "her". How she is now is. 

If you stay it must be with full knowledge you are signing up to be mistreated and abused (yes, she does). And that would be tragic. 

[guyguy420]

Just now, boltnrun said:

Well, you are good at dodging questions!

I wasn't asking if you wanted kids or if you think you'd be a good father. I'm trying to get you to see how absolutely self destructive remaining in this relationship is. And you don't seem to want to leave the relationship.

How she acted toward you a year ago or whenever is irrelevant. There's no going back to how she was in the beginning because that wasn't the true "her". How she is now is. 

If you stay it must be with full knowledge you are signing up to be mistreated and abused (yes, she does). And that would be tragic. 

Man I'm just retarded and I wish you would've just asked that then. 😕 

I'm already aware of this and I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do. Do you think I found a website called eNotAlone and typed these things thinking it's proof of anything different? 

I do not want to leave her, that much is true. But with your advice and others I start to see how I have to and why I should have to idfk dude its the anxiety its no courage its being loser mode 100% and no matter who I talk to or how well explained it is to me I cant do it and i just cant even find the words why i cant do it im just very weak right now and have nothing besides working and all my other friends ditched me literally trying to *** her like straight up i know theres guys she has but my own friends said things so openly about it so gross and *** and now if i lose her i got nothing and it sucks and i kinda just hope she can change again but she wont i know IDK Brah!

Im helpless and I guess im just looking for some magic words that will drive me to leave or make her happy again

[boltnrun]

The "magic words" are... I'm not going to stick around and be abused any longer. I know staying in this toxic mess will make my life worse, not better. I'm going to end this and do everything I can to meet cool, nice, upbeat people who don't use drugs and are into fun yet healthy things like sports. I don't have to be like this the rest of my life because I don't deserve to be miserable.

[Wiseman2]

55 minutes ago, guyguy420 said:

I'm  no anti-natalist, but I do hate kids so not a huge concern.

This has nothing to do with your situation. Why even ponder this? She's a cocaine user. It's really that simple. You seem almost oblivious to what cocaine addiction is. Why not research it?  Can you rescue her? No. You're trying but for your own selfish reasons. Stop controlling her. 

[guyguy420]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

This has nothing to do with your situation. Why even ponder this? She's a cocaine user. It's really that simple. You seem almost oblivious to what cocaine addiction is. Why not research it?  Can you rescue her? No. You're trying but for your own selfish reasons. Stop controlling her. 

I'm not oblivious to it and have listed above that multiple people in both of our families have been addicted. I could not be oblivious if I tried but thanks. 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, guyguy420 said:

 that multiple people in both of our families have been addicted. 

That's precisely why you could have a blind spot. Drama, crisis, chaos and conflict is "home" for you, it's what you know best. It's familiar and comfortable. Healthy people might seem alien to you. 

You seem to think her behaviors are modifiable with lectures and empty threats.

And unfortunately you seem to think her bizarre behaviors are a separate issue. For example you claim she watches animal porn. Really?

So people on cocaine don't act strange and say bizarre things? In other words you take each incident of abuse and toxic behavior as a separate issue. Almost not seeing the forest for the trees.

[boltnrun]

Then with your experience you know saying "stop using cocaine, it's bad!" Or "it's either cocaine or me!'" are ineffective drug addiction treatment methods.

Just like people telling you that this relationship is bad and this girl is no good for you, you KNOW these things are true, yet you refuse to breakup with her. Addiction.

[MissCanuck]

She is eventually going to leave you, OP. 

No way is this girl going to stick arond for the long haul. What are you going to do then? 

[guyguy420]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

She is eventually going to leave you, OP. 

No way is this girl going to stick arond for the long haul. What are you going to do then? 

Ask god for forgiveness and hope she can find herself

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, guyguy420 said:

Ask god for forgiveness

Forgiveness for what?