Recovery

[P33]

In my previous post a few months ago I spoke of a situationship I was having which was complex. After being prescribed sertraline as well as Valium due to the intensity of the feelings around a 6 week relationship with someone with PTSD and a special needs child I, eventually got the most of it out of my system with thanks to a lot of counselling and focusing on myself and my joy, I ended up having to cut out my closest friend as she is his and his wife’s neighbour as well as the fact I realised we were just completely ethically different in the way we deal with physical relationships. It was too raw and it worked for me. Yesterday was his birthday so I agreed to meet him for drinks, I assumed his wife would be there. 10 minutes before I left both of them messaged me to tell me she was also there. In her last text she was pretty clear bizarrely she didn’t like me but we never spoke face to face after the ‘split’. I hadn’t spoken to her for a few weeks. When I got there everything was fine but I paid her little attention, his wife was half cut on the drink. They put us on the spot and we talked it out, there’s no animosity there. However emotionally afterwards I found this very difficult especially when he said that she’d said she had only wanted it to be purely physical. Now yes great sounds doable but in reality I find their joint attitude to be rather shocking and at the time she was suggesting this wasn’t the case. I’d pretty much dealt with all these feelings but it shot me back to near the beginning and suffered some not so small amount of angst which has been with me all day. What it’s made me realise is I really need to push all of them right out of my life again. In some ways I was pleased we had the chance to actually talk and she cuddled me unexpectedly before she left, and I’m tempted to go into that situation if that was even a thing, but the flip side is I have a very close female friend who makes it clear she loves me, I love her too (platonically) we’re spending our holidays together next month and next year and I get far more from her than I ever did with this person. I’m just not happy this has been stirred up. Input appreciated.

[smackie9]

You understand the repercussions....so learn from it. Next time when you feel tempted, make better choices.

[SooSad33]

Yup, we live, we learn. ( you were tempted?  Ohhh no good!) - so it's still a weakness? Take a good look at the effects of it all on you - counselling, meds.. Be stronger than this!).

I do hope this hasn't set you back again, too much 😕 .  As it can in ways affect you somewhat with where you're at now.  Please keep moving forward. Don't do this again.

You continue on now with your new life, - away from all of that! As you're well aware of the effects it had on you.

 

[MissCanuck]

18 hours ago, P33 said:

I have a very close female friend who makes it clear she loves me, I love her too (platonically) we’re spending our holidays together next month and next year and I get far more from her than I ever did with this person.

Wait, does this woman want to date you? Because it's not right of you to seek comfort in her if you don't want the same thing she does. Please don't use this woman just because the other one ddn't want you. It's not fair. 

As far as your "friends" go, yes, time to jettison them again. They're too involved in your business and don't have your best interests in mind. 

[P33]

29 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Wait, does this woman want to date you? Because it's not right of you to seek comfort in her if you don't want the same thing she does. Please don't use this woman just because the other one ddn't want you. It's not fair. 

As far as your "friends" go, yes, time to jettison them again. They're too involved in your business and don't have your best interests in mind. 

Appreciated. No the other woman and I are close long term friends and there’s nothing romantic on either side.