She puts relationship on hold. what do I do?

[SooSad33]

On 2/23/2023 at 2:54 PM, Davidgrx said:

Is her reaction normal?

Should I wait for her?

Should I ignore her.

I know if I go on a dating site I will have a date the same day. She always said that she is afraid I would leave her for somebody else.

So totally I don't get her reaction. If she is afraid of her ex, why freezing our relationship which gets damaged.

And she doesn't chat to me. I know she responded to be polite, she also did that to her ex when we were together.

So should I ignore her and leave her alone? Until when? When is the time limit of such a thing. 1 week,month,....?

When would I start forgetting about her?

First of all, I dont see it being your 'second date' thing, lol.  That's all long gone 😉 .

Second, she & her situation is concerning.  It sounds like HE has a good hold of her still. And she fears a lot re: her situation/job, etc.

So, does not sound like she is 'able' to get involved again and realized this after a few months of dating you. ( I also am not sure any of this is her 'love' for you) .

I was in a similar matter when I was pulling away from my ex, years ago.  I was involved with someone new but pulled away - for my own good. I was vulnerable and so not in my 'right mind'. 

I suggest you leave her alone for good.  Don't contact her at all.  No waiting a week or a month, etc.  She has stopped talking to you?  And said she wants to be alone?  Then you respect this and leave her alone. ..  IF she wants to reach out again, she will.

BUT, do you really feel okay in this?

As for you able to 'get a date being on a dating site within a day', all the power to you 😉 .  But, are you truly ready & willing to do so? ( I don't get why you mentioned this at all..?).

Anyways, move on.  Is best to find someone out there who has no such ties and is somewhat stable in their life.

 

[Kelly1988]

She put it on hold so you’re free to do whatever, I’m not saying go wild and chase women but definitely keep your options open and open your mind to dating others who don’t have all these issues. When someone wants to put relationship on hold, they are taking you for granted or ok with possibly losing you. Not the best start of a relationship. 

[TheRawTruth]

She's already told you what she wants, and why you have to be apart. She also said she'd search for you when she was ready. The only thing YOU haven't done is ACCEPT it. Now, I can understand you wondering if she's actually being HONEST or not (maybe she ISN'T) but in TRUTH, it doesn't really MATTER. She's deciding to cut you off. Regardless of the reason, whether it's about her ex, this job, or she just made up with him. The fact is, she wants to stop talking. You have to abide by those wishes.

[Davidgrx]

On 2/24/2023 at 10:49 AM, Davidgrx said:

We gonna have a call later today. Let's see what happens

Do we had a call and I have told her I will not wait for her. No discussion, no yelling or so.

I want to thank you all for the advice and sharing your experience also.

I will not jump into another relationship for now. I am gonna enjoy being single until one day who knows.

Thx again you all and thx this site exist!!!!

 

[Jenbeee]

Hi David. 
Lots of good advice here. Just wanted to jump in to add. 
Hopefully by now, you’ve moved on and let things be. ( Edited as I noticed your last post) the situation is still in question....it would be best for you to move forward without her. Wish her well and get your life filled with people who don’t want to be absent from your life. 
 

Wish you the best,

Jen

[Davidgrx]

17 hours ago, Jenbeee said:

Hi David. 
Lots of good advice here. Just wanted to jump in to add. 
Hopefully by now, you’ve moved on and let things be. ( Edited as I noticed your last post) the situation is still in question....it would be best for you to move forward without her. Wish her well and get your life filled with people who don’t want to be absent from your life. 
 

Wish you the best,

Jen

Hi Jen,

Yes indeed.. that's what I am gonna do. I am gonna continue with life.life is too short to wait for somebody who doesn't know what she wants.

Thx Jen

 

David

[jacongeller]

It can be difficult to handle when a relationship is put on hold, but it's important to respect your partner's wishes and give them the space they need. It may be a good idea to talk to them about why they feel the need to put things on hold and see if there is anything that can be done to help them feel more secure in the relationship.