little problem..

[smiles21]

OK, not sure if im in the right forum. Anyways, i have this serious problem with girls who have been with "a lot" of people. Sexually.

 

I myself, value sex as something to do with someone you care about, now, ive been with 2 people, both girls which i loved. The opportunity arises a lot, but i dont want to sleep with just some skank. I enjoy developing an emotional relationship with someone then the sex is so much better.

 

But when i meet a girl, and she says she has slept with 7+ guys.. im slightly turned off by this whole situation. Should i feel like this... im 21 years old if that is of any importance. Thanks..

[elila]

I think it's great that you have high values. Don't lose those values, they're what separates you from most others your age. Some people put more importance in sex than others, which is a good thing. It's safer, and much more special to share it with a few or even just one person.

[passions1]

There is nothing wrong with having that kind of view of wanting to have sex with people who you truly care about. It's highly respected & in return will be to your advantage of meeting someone who has similar value system that you can respect as well! So there is nothing wrong with the way you think, with STD's happening at a faster rate for the younger people! You got to watch out for yourself of course & wouldn't want to sleep with just anyone.

 

Nowadays in the media, tv, magazines, sex is everywhere & being treated as something to just give up easily in tempatation. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more single people today than in the past at ages that would've been married or in relationships by then. So there is the sense of having more sex versus quality sex with people.

[annie24]

Alright - how about this - say that a girl has slept with 2 men a year, for the last 5 years, which equals a total of 10 men. I don't think that makes her a woman of bad morals.

[heloladies21]

You need to stop judging people like that. You should sleep with who you want to sleep with, spend time wth who you want to spend time with. Nobody cares about the past, only about the present. The only thing that matters is if you enjoy your time with the other person.

[marijo2480]

Hey smiles21! It is hard to be with someone who's had tons more partners than you. But in a world where sex among unwed couples is normal, you can expect men and women alike to have had many partners before they walk down the aisle to say "I do."

 

My advice to you is to keep your standards high. You will find a girl that will meet those standards. Good luck!

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I think you're right on track and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who has the same values you do. Ther'es nothing weird or strange about you for understanding how powerful sex is and thereforeeee, treating it with respect.

 

Don't judge them as terrible people, just know that they are not for you.

[Santa]

I have a similiar opinion to you smiles21.

I don't think it will matter to me so much when im older, or when I have been with loads of girls, but at the moment, im still young, so perfer girls that havn't slept around a lot.

Probably something to do with being 'pure', and sleeping with only those you love.

 

Hang in there my friend 8)

[Mr. B]

I too am 21 and a girl who's slept around wouldn't be my first choice to say the least. While any woman is certainly free to do as they please, you are well within reason to discriminate according to your tastes.

 

Someone said something about ignoring the past... if only STDs were so temporary.

[annie24]

Someone said something about ignoring the past... if only STDs were so temporary.

 

That's good!

 

Well - ultimately, you can't help what you feel. There are plenty of girls out there who have not had plenty of partners, so I guess those would be the best matches for you. I like it how phrescklesrsexy said it:

 

Don't judge them as terrible people, just know that they are not for you.

 

Good luck!

[heloladies21]

Nobody said anything about having as much unprotected sex with as many people as possible, but if I find somebody who I want to spend time with, I never ask how any partners she's been with. It's never an issue.

[lifeiscash]

Well I'm 21/male also who isn't that experienced sexually with girls. Iv'e had sex with only three girls and they were all my x girlfriends that I cared about too. Alot of my friends will go out to the bars with me, find some random girl, shag with her for the night, and then i see her walk the hall of shame in the morning to get to her car. And the whole time I'm thinking, what a stupid skank.

 

I value my morals and values and appreciate the fact that I'm smart enough to only share that privledge with a girlfriend that is worth it. I don't want to have a girlfriend that has slept with 10-15 guys in her past life, what does that tell me? She could either be really insecure, or she doesn't know how to appreciate the people in her life that does make a difference in a relationship point of view.

 

AND remember gentleman: If it's THAT easy, Ya don't want it!

[smiles21]

thanks for the comments, i guess i just have high standards when it comes to that stuff. I really need to care for someone before i become intimate in that aspect.

 

Maybe ill grow out of it or something, i just feel like if a girl is trying to sleep with me in the first couple weeks she is a total skank, and i dont want to be with someone like that, lol. I want to work for it, its weird.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Maybe ill grow out of it or something, i just feel like if a girl is trying to sleep with me in the first couple weeks she is a total skank, and i dont want to be with someone like that, lol. I want to work for it, its weird.

 

Total skank? Maybe but probably not. Is she a young woman who's grown up in a society that screams sex=love and 'everybody's doin it' and that tells her that something might be wrong with her if she hasn't given away her virginity by now? More than likely. In fact, it's a whole lot more likely than that she's a skank. Maybe she's just looking for a guy who will tell her 'no' and by doing so, you might become infinitely more attractive.

 

Be not quick to judge, lest you may be judged.