Just an Asian guy trying to say thank you to all of you

[WallaceNg]

Hi there,

We are all strangers. But all come here for one reason, to seek advice about our lives. The following passage may be long but please read it if you have time and patience about a stranger’s life.

Sorry if there is any typo because actually I’m from Hong Kong.

 

Now I am 27. I have a gf 25, we met at work in Feb 2021 and started to date in Apr. I love her and wanted to have a family with her but still out of a sudden, it’s 05:30am and i need to get up at 7 to work but I can’t sleep. I rarely have insomnia but when I do, I sometimes think about my past, especially the relationships I had before.

 

I didn’t have much relationship, I think within 10 including with the girls I met online (actually I only had 1 relationship that was meeting in real person before back when I was 17, and this is my 2nd time).

 

Sometimes, I don’t know why, is it my self-initiated sensation? There are some girls I can never forget when I can’t sleep or feel lonely. Even though we cut all contacts since our relationships ended. I know the girls who we met online can be playful and not serious but I sometimes think about the good times with them and I can’t hardly keeping myself stalking their Instagram profiles when I am sad and lonely. However, I won’t message them because I think that will be awkward and they won’t rely anymore. I am pretty sure they have boyfriends already and who knows maybe even have children but I don’t know why I cannot forget them just like they did to me like it was never happen  before.

 

Sometimes, I also think about the girls that I regretted not chasing them because I met them in real life and they are my dream girls. 

 

But I know these won’t matter anymore. In the end of the day, we won’t meet or contact with each other what so ever.

 

I love my current girlfriend but not as much as I did in my previous relationships. She is a good match for me (ofcause not trying to compare her to my previous ones physically). I feel she loves me as well and we may get married few years from now.

 

Anyway, thank you eNotAlone and all of your guys’ support to an Asian guy. LOL. I think only a few ppl of mine know this kind of awesome relationship counseling website.

 

The first time I came here, I was 21 and now I am 27. Thank you guys for all the advices and support! It really meant a tons to me and my personally growth!
 

Bye for now, it is 6am. Need to get up early for work tomorrow.

[boltnrun]

Why don't you contact your girlfriend when you can't sleep or are feeling lonely? 

It's good you're not reaching out to these exes of yours.

[WallaceNg]

Just now, boltnrun said:

Why don't you contact your girlfriend when you can't sleep or are feeling lonely? 

It's good you're not reaching out to these exes of yours.

I cannot tell her straight that I cannot sleep and missing my exes.🤣I don’t want to bother her sleep anyway. Pretty sure she doesn’t have sleep issues.

 

Sometimes I want to ask them how are their lives going and what’s up but I know they will not reply or just say none of my business🤣

[boltnrun]

10 minutes ago, WallaceNg said:

I cannot tell her straight that I cannot sleep and missing my exes.🤣I don’t want to bother her sleep anyway. Pretty sure she doesn’t have sleep issues.

 

Sometimes I want to ask them how are their lives going and what’s up but I know they will not reply or just say none of my business🤣

Well, I wasn't suggesting you tell her you miss your exes.  I was suggesting you contact her just to talk.  You might stop feeling "lonely" if you talk to your girlfriend.

You say you don't have much relationship experience, then you say you've been in 10 relationships.  Were most of these "relationships" online-only?

[WallaceNg]

44 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Well, I wasn't suggesting you tell her you miss your exes.  I was suggesting you contact her just to talk.  You might stop feeling "lonely" if you talk to your girlfriend.

You say you don't have much relationship experience, then you say you've been in 10 relationships.  Were most of these "relationships" online-only?

Some of them were not relationships I think?. 8 out of 10 are met online. Including those broke up very quickly because we just met 1-2 times：/