I found a photo of her on a massage website. (My Audio)

[davedreamer88]

I prefer speaking , so if you would like to listen I'd appreciate it. 

 

Thanks 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

Please post in the text format. What's up with a breakup video anyway? What do you mean by "I found a photo of her on a massage website"?

Are you dating? Do you mean a dating app? What is a message website and why were you on it?

[1a1a]

I don’t think you have to break up. But there are caveats and they are big ones. 
 

If the commercial provision of happy endings feels like cheating to you then I think you have to honour that. In the event that, now knowing this about you she wants to quit that line of work and save the relationship, how would you feel about that? (Also brace yourself, she might not be game to sacrifice her financial independence and I don’t think that’s a reflection on her love for you, but indicative of the pressure we are all under to be financially solvent). 
 

Another is the lying by omission. Maybe you can reach a place where girlfriend who sells happy endings stops feeling like cheating because I can guarantee you, this is the most feelings and libido less interaction between a man and a woman imaginable (ok, I can’t guarantee but I’d be willing to bet money, she’s not aroused or even thinking about the client when she’s at work). But the damage to your trust might not be salvageable. 
 

The last thought I get out of hearing your tale, is, is it actually your girlfriend you love and will miss or the companionship? If only the latter let her go. If there are a myriad of things unique to this woman that make her your favourite person in the whole world then I think it’s worth looking inside yourself to work out if this is a deal breaker or not (the massages and the great big lie, but they’re two separate issues). There’s no rectifying the big lie but if you could continue dating either with her still giving happy endings for coin, or with her quitting that line of work, tell her what your preferred condition is and give her a chance to decide if a relationship like that still works for her.

 

As they say on Baggage Reclaim, people unfold. The longer you date the more you learn and the more complete the picture of them becomes. Now you know more about your lady and your task is to assimilate this information and decide if the relationship still works for you. And if it doesn’t, then you are mighty for taking decisive action!

[davedreamer88]

12 hours ago, 1a1a said:

I don’t think you have to break up. But there are caveats and they are big ones. 
 

If the commercial provision of happy endings feels like cheating to you then I think you have to honour that. In the event that, now knowing this about you she wants to quit that line of work and save the relationship, how would you feel about that? (Also brace yourself, she might not be game to sacrifice her financial independence and I don’t think that’s a reflection on her love for you, but indicative of the pressure we are all under to be financially solvent). 
 

Another is the lying by omission. Maybe you can reach a place where girlfriend who sells happy endings stops feeling like cheating because I can guarantee you, this is the most feelings and libido less interaction between a man and a woman imaginable (ok, I can’t guarantee but I’d be willing to bet money, she’s not aroused or even thinking about the client when she’s at work). But the damage to your trust might not be salvageable. 
 

The last thought I get out of hearing your tale, is, is it actually your girlfriend you love and will miss or the companionship? If only the latter let her go. If there are a myriad of things unique to this woman that make her your favourite person in the whole world then I think it’s worth looking inside yourself to work out if this is a deal breaker or not (the massages and the great big lie, but they’re two separate issues). There’s no rectifying the big lie but if you could continue dating either with her still giving happy endings for coin, or with her quitting that line of work, tell her what your preferred condition is and give her a chance to decide if a relationship like that still works for her.

 

As they say on Baggage Reclaim, people unfold. The longer you date the more you learn and the more complete the picture of them becomes. Now you know more about your lady and your task is to assimilate this information and decide if the relationship still works for you. And if it doesn’t, then you are mighty for taking decisive action!

Wow. Your response is so amazing. I'm so grateful for it. It's so hard right now... She's a nice girl. I know it. But done this ***ty thing. And it's a shame that our relationship most likely has to end .

[1a1a]

I wouldn’t know for certain unless it actually happened to me but in the hypothetical, I don’t think I’d feel cheated on if I found out my partner sold sexy massages (I try and get far far away from a puritanical view of sex since I think it goes against our very natures). But maybe I would find myself struggling with the lie of omission. 
 

In the end though if this is/was the deal breaker and it ended I think that’s ok, most people aren’t our forever people. But you two got to walk together for a while. 
 

How have things unfolded?