law Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 How do you react cold and distant, warm and friendly? just a normal hello, or just your real old self? Link to comment
aberdeenhjetman Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 i had this just last week, very unexpected meet up with mine. at first i tryed ignoring her and just said hi. but then she came over to me and well by the end of the day we very both flirting very badly Was it the right thing to do? probably not but it was good being back together even if it was just for one day. [link removed a look at my story here Link to comment
shes2smart Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Upon realizing it is an ex, they are asked the following question in as neutral a tone as I can muster, "What do you want?" After stammering out some lame excuse, they get a variation of "What part of 'I never want to hear from you again' did you not understand?" That usually brings the conversation to a screeching halt, which gives me an out. Just once, I wish one of them would have enough backbone to say why they really called. I could respect a valid reason and some honesty. Not that I would talk to them any more than absolutely necessary, but at least know your motivation for doing something. I mean, why on earth would you contact someone who made it clear they wanted nothing more to do with you ever again? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I've never really had an abundance of tact or diplomacy. My small supply has dwindled as I've gotten older. Good of you to notice. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 How do you react cold and distant, warm and friendly? just a normal hello, or just your real old self? depends...what do you want? Link to comment
law Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 >>depends...what do you want? eerrrr sex! Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 >>depends...what do you want? eerrrr sex! then stay away from her and look elsewhere. m Link to comment
shes2smart Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 >>depends...what do you want? eerrrr sex! Bad idea...for a lot of reasons. You're better off to find someone new. Link to comment
law Posted May 25, 2005 Author Share Posted May 25, 2005 I wasn't thinking about just having one relationship, I was thinking of the ex being part of many other on going ones like a Thursday night girl or something. Yeah sure there will be a lot a of ducking and diving but hey. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 I wasn't thinking about just having one relationship, I was thinking of the ex being part of many other on going ones like a Thursday night girl or something. Yeah sure there will be a lot a of ducking and diving but hey. Unless you are honest up front with all those you are dating/having sex with that you are seeing others, you are just asking for a boatload of trouble. Maybe you want that kind of drama in your life...this is a sure-fire way to get it. Even the thought of it makes me tired. Now, if you are honest up front that you are seeing/sleeping with other people and they choose to get involved with you anyway, then you've given them enough information that they can make a decent decision for themselves. If you're just looking for bed buddies (as opposed to a relationship), you're much better off to be very clear, open and honest about it up front. You may get a few more rejections, but you are also more likely to get what you want without lying to or hurting others. Link to comment
socalguy123 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 I say, if you can handle the heat, go for it. Just don't get all strung out on her, if you do. If it gets reversed, and she gets strung out on you--well, we'd be happy to meet a new user Link to comment
chai714 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 The best reaction is to appear content and as if your life is going just fine (especially if it's not). I always like to keep good relations with exes, for the sake of living a more peaceful life. This doesn't mean I go seeking them out for a friendship, but I am clearly not mad at them. The advantage to the "content approach" is that you become a more desireable person to them AND you can actually convince yourself that you ARE content without them and thereforeeee are. The human mind can be convinced of almost anything, if you silently keep repeating (insert desired belief here) to yourself. Link to comment
BillyJean714 Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 I don't let it get to me. Whenever they call, I'm just myself. To me, it's just small talk. Small talk is pointless. Getting angry, heated, or emotional is pointless when it comes to dealing with the exs, because they are just a part of the past. Link to comment
Tulula Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Depends how much time has lapsed since you were together I suppose. I had ex email me and out of the blue, after we hadn't seen each other in 10 years! Despite having a bad breakup back then, time had healed everything and we found we could be 'friends' now, what had happened between us was now 'all water under the bridge'. My first thoughts on recieving his email however was 'What does he want', I gotta admit, lol. I guess we all wonder what an ex is after, whether they get in touch after a recent breakup/after a long period of time.....??? Link to comment
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