I LIVE WITH MY EX

[Randi03]

Hello,

I’m going crazy with my situation and could really use some advice. I live with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my best friend. I let him come stay with me when we first started talking, then we dated for a couple months, and then broke up when he cheated on me. I have no clue why, but I never threw him out. I am still madly in love with him, even though he continues dating other girls. We have so much fun together, at times, and no one makes me feel like he does. We both have serious drinking problems, and he has been in and out of jail numerous times for DUI’s. He just got another one, which is now a felony, and will most likely go away for a long time. Ever since his most recent three-month stay in jail, he has been telling me and writing me how he wants a second chance and thinks we should get married, and how he would die if I married anyone else, and how we are perfect for each other. Plus, he is so overly protective about when I am with my other guy friends. Why does he say things like that and act like that, but not want to be together now? He’s been telling me, recently, that I bring up commitment and marriage too much and all my negativity and depression is pushing him away, yet he still sees a chance for us in the future. Also, he doesn’t pay for anything, he uses my car all the time because he doesn’t have his own, and has stolen from me in the past. I think I know what you are all going to say, but I love him so much and we can’t imagine a life without each other. I just want him to want to be with me. I know he won’t find anyone who will treat him better or who he will share the kind of bond we have. Lastly, it’s probably not helping that we still hook-up, too. So, please let me know what you think. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[pcardoso]

Sorry. This is the advice you don't want to hear, but I think you should back off for awhile and try to work out your mind. Are you sure you love this guy and he loves you? Or, it's just co-dependency… or maybe he's been just using you. On other hand, if it is true love… some space only will help you both to clarify your feelings.

 

Think about it

[luvsick41]

aight, check it out............now, all i know is from what u wrote..........so bare with me...............anything he says in prison is what we call "jail talk"............sounds good, i am sure it does, but it means virtually nothing............sorry....he knows your buttons, and when he is in jail he pushes them.........secondly........u admit to having a drinking problem, u cant enter any kind of successful relationship with a problem..........get some help...........odds are if he has drinking problems (drugs could, or couldnt not be the issue as well)...........and living rent free, with someone he can have sex with, drink with, and use her vehicle whenever, is a definite plus.........he is useing you, although i cant blaim u for staying, cause i am sure u love him unconditionally, and it is hard, believe u me, i have been there...........dont u just feel like, WHY DO I LOVE HIM..........I WISH I DIDNT FEEL THIS STRONGLY FOR THIS PERSON.............u arent blind, u know whats going on...........u just need to look into urself and ask "is it worth it?" - is it worth all the pain and suffering..........just cause u guys have fun, and have sex everyonce in a while.....is it worth the pain of knowing he is sleeping with other woman............is it worth it.........ask urself that question and when u are ready to answer it, u will be in a better place............it might still be worth the pain, cause "he could change" - and "no one knows him, or see's him like i see him" - hey girl, hang on.......u know what you have to do, u feel it inside, that is why it hurts, cause u know u are going to get to the point where enough is enough, and that scares u, u just have to be ready for pain, cause it's coming if u are ready to make that decision..............but once again, just ask yaself, "is it worth it." - the answers lies within