pushin people away......

[charlotte_skye]

well okay....

I started going out with this guy who was amazing. he treated me so good and i promised myself i wouldnt go out with anothe rguy unless he was absolutely perfect.he fell in love with me very quilckly and told me he wa sin love with me like 3 weeks after we had been dating....he would write me huge letters sayin how he had never met anyone like me and was so happy etc etc and never wanted to loose me, he wa svery full on.

The thing is only alittle while after we got together i was offered a job abroad, and i decided to take it up, it wasnt for 3 mnths and i wasnt serious enough with him yet to stay for him. I told him i was going to go and he wasnt happy but we said we would stay together and it would only be for 3 mnths.

Then i dont know why but i found myself getting scared, i had been in a serious relationship awhile before him but was still worried that maybe i would hurt this new guy like my old boyfriend hurt me and i was scared maybe i would end up gettin hurt because i was beginning to really like this new guy. so i suppose i started getting cold, i didnt realize it or mean to but i started pushing him away saying things like not to get close with me or fall in love with me and saying things like im goin to work overseas longer then 3 mtnhs now. When i told him i was giong to work overseas longer then 3 mnths to make money he said he would wait for me nutil i got back but i told him not to as i was scared maybe something would happen and i would hurt him or maybe i would go overseas and then he would find someone else. so i told him not to wait even though i wanted him　to.

so i broke up with him, he was so upset we were both crying etc. he took it really hard as did i.

anyways i could sense he was still waiting for me to say lets get back together so i told him to go find someone else and get his mind off me...id ont know why i said that i gues si was just so scared of hurting him or gettin hurt.

anyways like only a week or so after we broke up he was going to start seein someone else unitl i found out about it n then said he wasnt gion to. anyways we had a huge fight over this and he ignored me for over 3 weeks, during this time i did alot of thinking and realized i wa sin love with him so bad and needed him back n needed to trust him to wait for me while i was away...i also cut my trip overseas back down to 3 nmths.

the thing is htough i was unable to tell him all this for 3 weeks as he was ignorin me and by the time we started talking again and i went to tell him i wanted him back i fond out he had a new girlfriend.

im ok with this in the way that i want him to be happy and i told him not to wait for me and find someone else and i know i caused alot of complication and i kept pushing him away and i hurt him bad but if he really did love me can he just start seeing someone else like 3 weeks later???? or does that mean if he can move on so easily that he never loved me????? i was so upset and told im everything how i wanted him back etc and want him to wait for me and even though he has a girlfriend now i asked him if he would still wait for me and how i cut my trip short etc and he said it sucked he didnt know that and that he would think about it.......im overseas now and have been for a week and it was a week ago he said he would think about it, he said he would email me and tell me wether he will wait for me or not, i got a email from him today and he said nothing about it............what does this mean??????????? pls help me i miss him so much and i know i did wrong but i can keep worrying liek this, ive tried making it up to him tellin him how i feel but i dont want to cause probs in his new relationship either..........i love him so much and he was soooooooooooooo in love with me it seemed so can he just move on so easily if he did really love me as much as he said he did n showed he did and what does him not answerin my question about waiting for me in his first email mean????????? pls help any advice will be so great

 

i aske dhim if he still had feelings for me and he said he does but also doesnt because as he doesnt want to get hurt again , then i asked him to wait and he said he would think about it.....did he not answer in his email cos hes scared gettin hurt again??

[doblersdream]

Playing devil's advocate here, so don't take it as gospel, but it could be that he's learnt a tough lesson from what happened. He gave too much of himself to you and ended up badly hurt. I'm sure he still loves you, but his natural instinct is to protect himself from more hurt. Just as you needed space and time to think how much you missed him, you now need to allow him the same. If he loves you, he'll be back. If he doesn't, well, it's maybe the wrong time, or not meant to happen at all.