what to do? what to think?

[Bar16]

Ok its been a month since me and my ex of five years broke up. I know a big part of breaking up is my fault i pushed her away when she loved me the most. But anyway after we broke up i found out she was messing around/ seeing one of my close friends that me and her hung out with every weekend. We did not talk for about two weeks until i found out about this. When i found out of course i fliped and we stoped talking again for a few days then she wrote me a long email sayin how sorry she was and this and that and how shes not seeing him anymore becuase its eating her alive etc. etc. Ok so now me and her have been talking and i even seen her one day last week. Even after all this i still fine myself in love with her. I mean i know i dont want to get back together with her right now and either does she. But in the future i think there is a real chance for me and her. My question is does anyone out there even think i should condider getting back with her in the future right now im really confused. One day i wake up and i hate her and next i miss her to death and wish we were still together. Im starting to get over what she did but i dont know if I should ever forgive her for what she has done. someone please give me some advice on my situtaion.

[reflectionlessmirror]

Only get back together if youare serious about the realtionship. you metioned that you pushed her away when she loved you the most, and that may be the reason she cheated. I am not justifying her infidelity, but you need to nurture the realatioship. Are you ready to give her waht she needs? You should be able to if you love her as you say you do! Whatever you do, keep her in your life right now, because you miss her for a reason. Youdont have to get married next week or even be in a serious realtionship, but if i had the feelings that you do i would want her in my life for sure! Time has a way of healing things, and you will figure it out. Dont rush things! have fun. you sound like a neat person to already explore looking past her infidlity. Very open minded!

[DN]

What I am not clear about is whether she was seeing this friend of yours before you broke up or immediately after. There is a difference.

 

If you want her - then be careful that you don't wait too long and lose her to someone else. Don't assume she will just wait until you are ready and fall back into your arms - she may already have fallen into someone elses.

 

You may be further ahead to have a talk and see if you can solve the issues that drove you apart and try to get the relationship back on track sooner than later.

[Bar16]

Well according to her the only thing they did was go out somewhere and that was right before we broke up we broke up 3 days afer they went out to there "date" but she said that he was trying to talk to her behind my back for a little while. Its just the fact that right after we break she would go with him one of my friends. I know shes not seeing him now thought. But anyway we talked about getting back together and both of agreed its way to soon to consider that. But she says she really misses me alot and i really miss her alot. I honestly dont know whats gonna happen between us. I know she still loves me but i really think this time apart is good for us both. Im not scared that she wont come back im just to the point where its like if were suspose to be together then thats whats gonna happen. Im not gonna chase after her when we broke up b4 i did that and it was really a hurtful expeirence i really think im better off not knowing what she is doing on the weekends and who she is doing them with.