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Can I still heal and get myself back up on my feet?

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We broke up in November and we were together for like 2-3 months but i really fell in love with him. 

I messed up by contacting him a week later and for a week we talked every day but that was due late replies (up to 5 hours) and it simply extended for a long period of time, after that a week of nothing, then again a week of talking because this time he reached out, again week of nothing and then i reached out. He wished me Merry Christmas.

Basically a whole month I held onto something that was obviosuly over and i ruined myself completely. i lost his respect for me for sure but i also lost my self respect, self worth, confidence... everything. i hate myself for being weak. i also messed up my grades bc i couldn't focus on my studies and now i won't have holidays bc i have to study.

can i still heal? even after holding on for so long?

i never begged or pleaded but still... keeping contact was a bad idea. is there hope i'll get through this?

note: we are in the same friend group 😕 

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