just want some input

[tinydancer]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. The first year was a tremendous roller coaster ride resulting in us having a beautiful daughter together. We live together and plan on continuing this arrangement. Sometimes we fight but no more then any other couple, its tense at times because having a child requires a lot of self-neglect and that results in a lot of Us-neglect. I love him and I want to be a family but I dont want to have to explain to my daughter why we have different last names, and I feel like marriage would make things a little more final and ease my fears that someday one of us can just walk away, although thats never been discussed I just fear it might happen. I dont want to pressure him or make him feel asthough the only reason I want to get married is because of our daughter, I just want us to be a legal family. I do love him, he is a wonderful father and a great partner. Am I silly to want to change things, and how do I tell him this is how I feel? I am 4 years older then him so I feel like I might be making him miss out on some of the things I got to experience. I just dont know what to do....

[atigdng]

I think you're on the right track, you shouldn't beg him to get married, nor should you neglect to mention that key point. I have a girlfriend of a year, and the best thing to do with any problem is to talk openly about it. I think if he read your post right here, he would most likely understand.

Communication is THE most important thing in a relationship, you should talk to him about it, how old is he though? He may be hoping to stay single for a while longer, he may be afraid that he will be missing out on something like you mentioned. But in reality he wouldn't be missing out on anything, he would be gaining some IMO. That is just my $.02. Hope I helped.

[Ms Omaniac]

i understand your frustration. you should talk to him about your feelings but try not to push the marriage either....and that's a very difficult line to walk. if he feels you are pushing marriage on him...he might bail. but if you dont talk about how you feel...you'll feel worse and worse. communication is reallllllllly key here. but your needs and his needs need to somehow make a compromise or this relationship will be in serious jeopardy. i really think his maturity is not as developed as yours and unfortunately you cant force his to go fast forward.

 

hope things work out.