Broke-up with someone now i want him back!

[Nikki28]

I was seeing this guy for about 2 months and everything was great! But he lived far away and i started to worry that if i started having stronger feelings for him then i wouldnt be able to see him as much because he lived far away. So i ended it with him telling him exactly what i just said. He responded telling me who he felt about me and that he thinks he was worth the driving time. We talked about it a couple of times and then about after a week i started to think that maybe i made a mistake...that he was worth the drive and i was being stupid about the whole thing. Well i confronted him and told him how i felt and he bascially said that i hurt him and that he thought i wasnt a sure thing because he thought i was a very indecisive person (which im not) and that part of him couldnt forgive me because he is afraid i will hurt him again (bascially change my mind about him) So i reassured him that i never stopped liking him and i made a horrible mistake. He said that he didnt know if he could ever forgive me but didnt know what would happen in the future or if he would change his mind bascially making me think there is some kind of hope And he did say that he really like me and for me to give him a call if i changed my mind about the driving thing when all of this first happened. So basically i have emailed him and called him and he hasnt returned any of my phone calls! Which i think is kind of imature......If he wants nothing to do with me why doesnt he just email me and say.......I would rather know even if it does hurt..........So what should i do? Should i just stop emailing him and see if that works? or does it sound like there is just no hope? because in his last email he didnt say he wouldnt ever be able to forgive me he just said that he didnt know what was going to happen

[MyNinja]

First off im sorry that you're in this situation..

 

wow, it's really hard to say what's going on in his head at this point since the emailing started. Why he isn't responding? unknown to mankind! I would say just keep emailing him so he'll at least know that there's a communication line in tact. Maybe he just hasnt checked his mail lately or maybe he's trying to let you off in the most delicate way, but that would be immature.

 

I also think that since you dismissed him because of the driving factor that he's finding it very difficult to make a decision about taking you back. Do you have his phone number? if you do i would call him just to see how he's doing, not jumping to the subject of the lack of responses to quickly...good luck and hopefully you two can find some common ground

[Mr. Cactus]

I am just wondering why only you ever drove to see him? Why didn't he ever drive to see you? Deso he have access to a car? What about public transport? If I had a girlfriend I could promise them I would make every effort to go and see them, even if it mean't hours on public transport every week. Just reading your post I see alarm bells in that it looks like you had to make all the efforts to get together.

[Nikki28]

No he drove to see me also......also, I did call him and he didnt call me back

[ron13]

i'm in a similar situation of trying to get someone back after i broke up with her. unfortunately, it took me 5 months before realizing i made a mistake.

 

i feel for you here, you want him back and he is unsure/doesn't want to get hurt again. same story with my ex. i think at this point you should feel somewhat good by recognizing your mistake and telling him how you feel. nothing else you can do but try to maintain some contact so he knows you are around, interested, and sorry.

 

once you decide you want somebody back and tell the person, all you can do is live with their decision of whether to take you back or not, and that may take some time, which is frustrating. but hey, as the dumpers, we can't expect too much here, we were the ones hurting them by breaking up in the first place.

[Diabra]

This sounds almost identical to a situation I am in right now. I scared off my guy with my own emotional "flakiness" and apparent inability to make a decision and stick to it. It was also a long-distance thing, and finally he recently decided that we would be friends, and to him that means little or no contact so that's where we are now.

My advice to you would be to give this guy some time. The only way to know if he honestly loves you still and would want you back in his life would be to give him plenty of space and time to miss you. The more you pursue him, the more trapped he will feel. I know it's VERY hard to have no contact, it's maddening honestly. But if there are deep feelings between he and you, he will have to return at some point to at the very least to be friends. Good luck to you.