We're back together - how do i take it slow?

[Phoenix_girl]

Well it's been a while since i posted here, but there has been a turn in my life that i wanted some advice. Some of you may have read my posts about my boyfriend that i was on a break with. If not here's a brief synopsis. We dated for a year when he told me that he wanted a break so ge could fix his life. The break has lasted 10 months and through out that time we continued to see each other and stayed close.

 

Now we are officially dating again. But he told me that he doesnt feel like he loves me romatically anymore . I can understand this (after much crying). He told me that he loves me in a best friend way and is willing to try dating again if i am comfortable with it. Over the course of the 10 month break I listened to people tell me to forget about him and my feelings fluctuated. I would ask myself why I was putting up with it and every time i would rediscover what i loved about him and why i love him. I found myself falling in love with him again and again.

 

For him, things were different. He was focused on his life and trying to improve it. He wasnt concerned with dating, relationships and feelings - he didnt even look for a new relationship. He came to see me when he could and we talked as often as possible (roughly everyother day) but what it came down to was his life was about him for the time being. So i can understand how his feelings have......disappeared. We have both changed over the past 10 months.

 

When we first started dating we fell in love within 2 weeks - way to fast. we got caught up in the emotions and the friendship was slow in coming. i had long felt that there was no strong friendship to support our relationship through hard times. But now we have this amazing strong friendship on which to rebuild a relationship (if it works out that way) and i dont want to rush it.

 

My question is how do i keep from rushing into things like i did before? How do i take it slow?

 

P_G

 

PS Since finding out that he doesnt love me, the weight of the uncertainty is gone. even though it was upsetting, it was good to know what ive wanted to know. I feel that it is a new beginning.

[sidhat]

Dear,

 

Your situation is more like friends.. And its really hard to become a friend to who you love ..so you better make decision and talk it out with him that will he be comitted with you or leave you with hurts,, its better to leave with smiles and happiness.. You will be more comfortable and easy to end this relationship which you r expecting and will start new one.

He seemed to be confused and not confident..

 

your can make better decision for yourself..

 

Good Luck..

[Mun]

Hey there,

I think the fact he wants to date and give this a try is a good sign. He still likes you, obviously, but maybe what is missing is that "spark"?

 

I think the safest thing for you to do is to not share your emotions with him yet. Stay on the same page with him and just date him, like in the beginning... concentrate on being good company and having fun

 

You have to start somewhere.