Trying to move on from a relationship

[Essence123]

I have previously written about a certain guy a few times here throughout different phases in our friendship-relationship. I decided to walk away from it because it was causing me more pain than good. It was difficult at first because it hurt how he let me walk away, he didn't want to risk the stability of his relationship for our friendship or whatever it was that we had. He told me he valued what we had very much but it is that it is now and the situation was complicated because she wouldn't be okay with him being close with another woman, who now even happens to have feelings for her bf. I knew when I told him of my feelings that this was going to be the case but we decided that it wasn't going to affect us in any way at that time, and I was just glad that I took it off my chest, I wasn't looking for more than that.

 

It's been 7 months now and we're completely out of touch. I came to know some guy who was in my circle of friends up closer. He is such a nice guy and we began to spend more time together with out mutual friends. He tends to show admiration towards everything I do, remembers little details of things that concern me and is always curious about my opinions.

But it isn't making me feel better, I feel bad because I'm afraid I'm only replacing the vacancy the other guy has left with the new one. I don't want to give him any false hopes because I don't feel ready to get involved with someone new.

 

I believe I am moving on, because thinking about him doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. However, I came across him and his gf a couple of days ago. They walked right past me and she noticed me but he acted as if he didn't. He didn't turn his head one bit, he kept walking ahead and was negligent to the fact that I was in front of him. It did hurt to be honest, because I didn't except us to ever end up this way. I didn't expect him to see me and act like he didn't and I didn't understand why he did so? Was he too proud to look at me now that I decided I didn't want to remain in contact with him or did he feel bad and didn't know what he'd do if he looked at me?

 

Currently, I just don't want to pursue another relationship but I just want to move on and feel better and catch up with everything I was putting on hold because of this exhausting relationship. Feeling admired and appreciated by someone is such a pleasant feeling but I'm afraid I only consider the new guy a good friend. I don't want to hurt him that same way I was hurt.

[Wiseman2]

It seems once he got involved with his gf he didn't want to string you along, since he knew about your crush on him. Perhaps it's awkward for him. Therapy may help you explore mixed feelings.

 

It sounds like you are not attracted to this guy or are not ready to date.. Hopefully he knows you only see him as a friend so you don't lead him on. Why not get on some dating apps if you are ready to date and try to meet men you are attracted to?

It's been 7 months now and we're completely out of touch. I came across him and his gf a couple of days ago. They walked right past me and she noticed me but he acted as if he didn't.

Feeling admired and appreciated by someone is such a pleasant feeling but I'm afraid I only consider the new guy a good friend. I don't want to hurt him that same way I was hurt.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Sounds like a jerk if he can’t even say hi to you— how old is this guy?? Sounds like you are healthy and letting go in a healthy way. I know it’s tough- I’m going through something similar. Keep your head up and remember there’s an amazing guy out there just waiting for you!

[Essence123]

It seems once he got involved with his gf he didn't want to string you along, since he knew about your crush on him. Perhaps it's awkward for him. Therapy may help you explore mixed feelings.

Actually, he was totally fine stringing me along even after he got along with her. He didn't tell me about his relationship and still gave me mixed signals like he always has. But after I knew about it and he knew that I've had feelings for him for years that things started to change and I no longer knew where I stood. He thought it was better to maintain a superficial friendship with me than lose me but it wasn't as easy for me as it was for him. So I took the decision to walk away and he let me.

 

Sounds like a jerk if he can’t even say hi to you— how old is this guy?? Sounds like you are healthy and letting go in a healthy way. I know it’s tough- I’m going through something similar. Keep your head up and remember there’s an amazing guy out there just waiting for you!

 

He's changed for sure. He was never a jerk, especially not to me. I mean, at some point I expected he'd call because he wouldn't afford losing me like he's always said. I wanted him to regret the things he's done so selfishly, even if we never go back to what we once were because I wanted to forgive him, but he let me go and somehow chose her over us. So, when I met him I expected he'd at least like to say hi to his old friend. I felt so humiliated and abandoned but I know now that I was way too good for him.