boyfriend not letting me go see a friend..

[chelsie]

okay i was talking to my boyfriend about going to a friends place like 4 hours away for like 7 days. her mom is dying and she has like no one , and my boyfriend thinks she is a bad influence on me lol so he is like not letting me go, and me make a huge deal about it and pulls a guilt trip saying things like i wouldnt do that to you i just dont know what to say to him anymore,, HELP any advise of what to say to him.. or if going will make me a bad girlfriend.

[modgirl21]

I think you should tell him that YOU are the boss of you and even if he doesn't like it, you're going to be there for your friend. It's hard when a loved one is dying. I know, both of my parents died within two years of each other. The best there that I had was my friends to lean on. When you're dealing with a family member dying, you'll find that you need more than just family...you need your friends. Go see her is my advise.

[chelsie]

thats what i needed to hear ,, cause all i get from him is guilt if i go i just dont want an on going conflict. but my friend is important .

[lady00]

Okay, your bf is being kinda selfish here...why does he say she's a bad influence. If you want to be there for a friend who's having a hard time, then it's your right to go...

[chelsie]

ya i know i should go i am am going to now .. he thinks she is a bad influence cause she dosent think i should be with him cause he is kinda controlling

[lady00]

he is like not letting me go, and me make a huge deal about it and pulls a guilt trip

 

Your friend is probably right...sounds pretty controlling.

[kungfumaster]

Controlling and selfish certainly describes this guy. It's a bad sign. Be careful sweetie. Just worry about your friend right now as the previous posters have already mentioned. Deal with your bf later.

[QTpie87]

try one more time to talk to him about this calmly. explain why you need to go, what she is going through, and that you will only be gone for that 7 days or so. Maybe make him promise to be nice and take him with you. if you offer a reason why and tell him he can go and still trys to make you stay, just go. Your friend needs you, and when you come back maybe he will have thought it over. explain to him how he is controlling .My best friends husband controls her every move. he lives in las vegas and we wanted to go barn dancing one night here in st. george in ut. and that's not like touchy dancing , whats gonna happen we weren't man hunting or anything just dancing. and he flips out turns around and starts driving all teh way back to vegas when he hears we did that. he hadn't even been home for 10 min. this guy will never stop controling her because she puts up with it. don't put up with it.

good luck.

Qtpie87

[chelsie]

ya i will go. the controlling thing is hard it is like everthing i do is watched but he dosnt think he is doing it and that i am over reacting . i will try to talk to him and see how it goes lol i know the outcome. but thanks ppl it has really helped.

[cleverme123]

first off he don't own you. No one has that right. YOu can make decisions based on what you feel is right. If you let him tell you know you put the control in his hands and if he gets away with it once he will do it again. I would question your relationship not going to see your friend.

 

Consequently I would tell him I am going and if he don't like it tough.

[RayKay]

Just because you have a boyfriend, does not mean you give them full control of your life.

 

Your friend is going through a VERY rough time right now, and as a good friend you want to be there for her. That IS the right thing to do in my opinion.

 

You bf probably thinks she is a bad influence as she is concerned about how controlling he is! If she does, I think she is right!

 

Go to be with your friend, and sorry to say but if your bf tries to pull another guilt trip and be controlling and selfish, tell him when you come back, it won't be back to him.

 

There are too many decent, loving, open guys out there who would appreciate your kind heart to stay stuck with this one.