My thoughts don't add up!

[Unmotivated]

This is driving me mad. I feel like I've hit rock bottom and I didn't even see it coming and I still don't understand it.

 

I've been infactuated with a girl I know for a while. I don't know how I managed to do it (because I am very shy), but somehow I managed to tell her over MSN. She was kind of shocked and she told me that she didn't know what to say. She doesn't share the feelings. I felt bad for springing it on her because she is having a hard time with a relationship she just ended and she has several finals coming up that she is having a hard time studying for.

 

Anyway, she was okay with it, or seemed to be and we agreed to stay friends. Everything seemed okay. I was like, "Alright. When I went to work later, my life seemed clear and it seemed like I was thinking objectively.

 

But when I got home, everything took a dive. I can't stop thinking about whether telling her was a good idea and what consequences have come from it.

 

In my mind it seems clear that me and this girl are just friends and she has no interest in me. And in my head, I'm okay with that. Yet for some reason I desperately, desperately want to talk to her more. I don't want to do anything at all right now except for talk to her. I feel so numb.

 

The only conclusion is that I must be in denial. I don't think I have accepted the rejection. It's freaking me out because I am convinced of one thing, while my desires seem to contradict it.

 

I don't know what to do expect for see how I feel tomorrow. I don't want to hurt her anymore, but I can't help but wonder if even that is just some trick of my head.

 

Gah, people. Thank you for listening to my problems again. One day I hope I can give back to this forum as much as it has given me.

[Turboz]

Hi

 

I do sympathize as I've been there and done that. Suffered wanting more contact and had loads of sleepness nights.

 

Things didn't really get a lot better until I met my current lady. believe me it turned my life right around!

 

Try to go and meet some new women or something - It's one of the hardest things to do but it works.

 

-Turboz