Good date Friday, now when should I talk to her?

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

Hey, so I went on our first date. We saw a movie she liked and then we went to an icecream place she liked. We talked for like an hour or so, went back to her house watched tv a bit and then I left. We hugged each other at the end. So now, should I wait to talk to her until monday?(date was Friday) Or should I call her now or tomorrow?

[venus777]

I would say at least wait until Monday. You don't want to seem too desperate or anything like that and scare her off... Who knows? She could also call you....

[annie24]

My rule is: call when you have something you want to say and when it's convient for you. I wouldn't call her right now - it's sat night. But, if you want to call her on sunday afternoon or monday, to see how her weekend went, that would be nice.

 

Don't try to play the "when to call" game. I know... I'll sometimes slip into it myself. But, it just hurts your brain and makes things complicated. Call her when you have something to say. good luck!

[swiffer]

My rule is: call when you have something you want to say and when it's convient for you. I wouldn't call her right now - it's sat night. But, if you want to call her on sunday afternoon or monday, to see how her weekend went, that would be nice.

 

Don't try to play the "when to call" game. I know... I'll sometimes slip into it myself. But, it just hurts your brain and makes things complicated. Call her when you have something to say. good luck!

 

WOAH WOAH WOAH!! no...

 

Dude. Let me try to get your attention here.

 

- wait 1 week.

 

huh? wha? how?

 

do it. wait 1 week. why?

 

- girls like guys who are confident, exhibit self-control and are mysterious. Remember these 3 things. Tell yourself these 3 things every night before you go to bed.

 

And remember - DO NOT TAKE ADVICE FROM WOMEN - they will only confuse you and lead you down a path of pain.

 

Waiting one week will show her that you are a cool cucumber. It will drive her NUTS to know why didnt call her. girls thrive on mystery. they thrive on going nuts about a guy.

 

Dont think thats fair to her? Dont worry. Girls are built to deal with this. Do not feel like you are being unfair to her. By not doing this, as i said, she will

 

- become more interested in the mystery man who has suddenly disappeared (1 week is not a long time, its 7 days. I'll give you 6 if you cant hang on any longer.)

 

- will start to THINK about you. She will start thinking about you! She will start having dreams about you!

 

1 week.

 

When she confronts you and says "WHY DID YOU WAIT ONE WEEK BLAH BLAH" -dont worry you know why? If she really likes you - She wont!

 

If she does? Shes a potential headache you dont want! Although you can choose to say "i was busy"

 

(She should ask you this months later over a coffee. Hey, remember when we first met? Why did you wait a week? This is when this should happen.)

 

MEN CANNOT TAKE ADVICE FROM WOMEN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS ILLOGICAL TO DO AND, IF DONE, WILL ONLY LEAD YOU TO PAIN.

 

Recite.

[c00kie]

1 week with no contact? thats abit long really...i say any time AFTER monday sounds good and then just ask her out again. you could apoligise for not calling earlier...claim you were busy...

[DrizztDourden353]

That is true man! You will drive a girl crazy when you let them wait. It makes them want you more.

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

She is 16, I don't think she would understand your tricks. I don't want to play with her feelings. I will definetly be talking to her at school Monday. We are in rural areas. This isn't Sex In The City. I think the rules and ettiquet are much looser for our situation.

 

Also, should I offer my help with her homework? We have a study hall together. I am an AP honors student and I think it would be good to help her. I believe she is like an average student. Or would she possibly be offended that I want to help her grades out? I think it would be great because I would be talking to her and being with her.

 

Also, now that we had our first date am I like her boyfriend now? Should I be holding her hand all the time and hugging/kissing her the times I greet her? We never kissed on the first date. Like I said, just a hug at the end. Should I wait until date 2 to start all that?

 

Can you tell me exactly more or less what I should do when I first aproach her Monday? Hug or not? Hold hands now or not? I wish I had better senses about these things! It is my first time going through these situations so I will learn as I go I guess.

[DN]

I agree with Annie - she is wise. It may surprise swiffer to know that many women are. Another surprise is that some of them even know what other women are thinking.

 

If there is a golden rule of dating and relationships it should be:

 

Don't play games

 

There are many girls who will have moved on to another guy by the end of a week if you haven't called. And even if she has not, she is going to be royally unimpressed by your game - and will probably know exactly what you are doing.

 

It is not in the least desperate to call the next day or the day after. I called a girl I met at a Saturday night party on the following Monday. Turned out quite well - we eventually were married.

[annie24]

I need to find the link to the thread, but we just had this discussion last week. It's not just me that feels this way. When a man who likes me takes one week to call me back, it makes me think several things:

 

1) I like him, but I guess he didn't have as good a time as I did. Oh well - I guess I'm not very important to him. Then my interest level drops.

 

or

 

2) Oh no - He watched swingers and believes in the 6 day rule. This is lame. Why does he have to resort to stupid games to try to make me like him? Doesn't he think that he's good enough that I'll like him without any games.

 

and

 

3) He's insecure. That's why he's resorted to the calling game - he thinks it will make me like him more.

 

That's what's so funny - guys think it drives us crazy - it does, BUT IN A BAD WAY!

 

Look - If I went on a date, and I didn't like him, no amount of calling or not-calling, or 1-week waiting would change that. I've decided by the end of the date if I want to see him again or not.

 

Waiting a week to call is just lame. Really - I think either that he likes me and is insecure, which is why he is marking days off the calendar before he calls, or that he wasn't as interested in me as I was in him, so I figure that I should just forget about him.

 

And besides - I'm a busy woman! If a guy doesn't call me several days in advance for a date, chances are I'll already have other plans (another date!) by the time he calls.

 

You can listen to whoever you want, but trust me, I think it's in your best interest not to play "the calling game." Good luck.

[annie24]

Here is the link:

 

link removed

[annie24]

Yeah - The guys that I became more interested in after a first date were those that e-mailed me within a few days. Some even wrote a quick e-mail the next morning like, "Hi - I had fun - we should meet up again sometime!" Then, I think, "Yeah! I did have a lot of fun with him last night - I definitely want to see him again!"

 

The ones that I met, kinda liked, but I wasn't sure.... when they waited a week to call, I didn't wind up going out with them again. This is why: At the end of the date, I was thinking, "Ok - he was nice - I had fun, but I don't know if I feel a really strong connection with him. Maybe I should go out with him again and see...." But then, over those 7 days, any interest in him that I did have dissolved. I thought, "Ok - so I guess he didn't feel a strong connection with me either. Ok - I'm not interested in him anymore." So, 7 days later, when they do call or e-mail, I don't return it.

 

Too busy? No - if a guy likes a girl, he's not too busy to send a 3 sentence e-mail, or to make a quick call to say hi. That's why the 7 day thing is bogus.

 

Don - I think you're right - if you live in a rural community, and locally, it would be considered rude to ignore someone in a small town for 7 days, then definitely don't do it! Talk to her at school. If you have a class together, suggest you study together sometime. And make plans with her again. Over time, you two will be bf/gf if things keep going well. Don't "force" the hand-holding or hugging. It will only feel unnatural. Do it when it feels right. Good luck!

[OceanEyes]

If I'm really into a guy, him waiting a week is most definitely a very bad thing. When I first met my boyfriend (2 years ago), and we started hanging out, he called me several times a week, and sometimes even a day. I loved hearing from him, there weren't any games and it was no big secret that we liked each other. The "mystery" and intrigue is part of THE MAN's personality. If you're thinking that waiting a week to call a girl will make you seem more interesting/ mysterious, but aren't actually that person on a regular basis, the boring part eventually comes out, sorry to say.

 

On the other hand, if I wasn't really into a guy that much in the first place, I probably wouldn't even care if he didn't call. I'd wonder why, but it wouldn't bother me or create more interest.

 

DonDon She'll probably be happy to hear from you. Don't call several times of course, but there's nothing wrong with giving her a quick buzz just to say hello.

 

Offering to help her with schoolwork might be a bit presumptuous. If, and only if, she complains about her grades is when you offer. Just say something like, "hey, if you need some help in that area, I would be happy to offer my services" (say it in a playful, funny way). Then, perhaps ask her for help in a subject that you are less fluent, and she is more well-versed.