Gaydar? How do you get it?

[beemersv101]

I admit, I'm somewhat new to the LGBT scene and I came out relatively recently. I'm single at the moment, which is fine and all, but I'm not exactly sure how to meet women of the LGBT persuasion. I would go to pride rallies, and other mostly LGBT events,since my University is pretty big and liberal but I'm kind of busy with school and I can't really dedicate myself to that kind of activism right now the way I want to simply because of my lack of time.

Being a somewhat shy person as it is, I'm not good at "picking up" people. When in high school, it was the other person that made the first move, or nothing was happening. Not to mention, I have no gaydar. I mean, I can tell when the person is "obvious", and I can spot butch lesbians along with the really femmemine gay men. But I'm not attracted to really butch women...so being able to point them out doesn't really help me. I hate crushing on straight girls, it's a waste of time and emotion that I'd rather not deal with. And I'd prefer not to make a fool of myself in front of straight women that were never available in the first place.

So how do I know who's even an option? How do you figure out who "plays for the team?" I don't want an uber femmenine, "girly girl" sort of woman or a hardcore butch, I'm looking for something in the middle like myself. You know, that girl that doesn't obsess over makeup and doesn't usually like wearing dresses, but doesn't mind doing the girly thing every once in a while. Someone that has played sports and can appreciate athletics, but isn't glued to ESPN every weekend and Monday night. Someone that enjoys kung fu movies, yet is a totall sap for chick flicks too. Are you getting what kind of person I'm talking about? Unfortunately, I think these types of girls can definitely "pass" for straight if need be, so how do I find them?

Seriously, I think I'm screwed here. I have no gaydar. And even if I did, and I spotted someone ideal, what would I do after that? To be safe, I'd probably try the 'let's be friends' route, but girls don't exactly walk up to eachother in the library saying things like "Hey, you look cool, let's be friends."

Any help would be deeply appreciated. I'm so clueless it's not even funny.

[Scout]

I think that gay/lesbian posters who have been out for some time will give you much better advice on this than I can, but I do want to quickly point out that very likely you have some time to go to at least one pride rally.

 

That truly sounds like an instant way for you to meet a lot of other women at once.

 

Remember, no matter how busy you are, your personal life should always have some time devoted to it, or else you're basically just on the hamster wheel of life.

[beemersv101]

Yeah, I think that I will eventually have to dedicate myself more to the activism so I can meet people that way. And you make a good point about not wanting to be on the hamster wheel of life...that would suck.

 

Anyway, does anyone have any other suggestions? Any experience to share and spread around?