Fixing what went wrong the first time

[DoneWithU]

What's the best way to fix a relationship if you get a second chance?

 

Can people change and avoid the mistakes that ruined their relationship the first time?

 

Can anyone recommend some books or youtube videos on the subject?

 

In my case I did not have both feet in the first time, I held back because I thought she was too chubby for me, two of her three kids were really annoying, She didn't get along great with one of my daughters, she could be bossy and demanding, at times I was lazy, argumentive, grouchy and drank too much.

 

We're still good friends and I'd really like a second chance. I've cut back significantly on my drinking, exercise a lot more, realize I'd love her no matter what size she is, realize most kids are a pain, but they'll grow up, I've gotten rid of being lazy and I'm working on being less selfish and less grouchy. I started taking lexipro which seems to put me in a better mood.

[IAmFCA]

Hmm. I feel like there is a baseline of entitlement/resentment underlying your post that still exists, that will rise up again when under stress.

 

Have you practiced being grateful? For everything? It may sound silly. I find it informative.

 

You've made great inroads on a new you, happier inside and out. I'd give it more time with her. Be the most loving friend you can be.

[DanZee]

Well, since you won't stop contacting her, you might as well ask her out on a date or ask her if she wants to hang out together. Get it out of your system. Tell her you've changed and that you miss her. See if she'll take you back.

[Johnny Utah]

Hmm. I feel like there is a baseline of entitlement/resentment underlying your post that still exists, that will rise up again when under stress.

 

Have you practiced being grateful? For everything? It may sound silly. I find it informative.

 

You've made great inroads on a new you, happier inside and out. I'd give it more time with her. Be the most loving friend you can be.

 

 

Good job on working on you, but it's never complete. This advice nails it. You might convinced yourself you've changed, but when the s h i t hits the fan, how will you react?