Did I make the right decision / Can it be reversed?

[Dylan Banks]

So last night I broke up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years for the reason I wasnt feeling it as much anymore and we were distant. I love her a lot and she does me but I dont know if I made the right or wrong decision? Im 21 and shes 22.

 

She's loyal, lives local, supportive, knows everything about me (as I do her), we've slept with the same amount of people as eachother we even share the same group of friends and have the same interests. Almost like the perfect relationship to be honest. But I dont know if thats because we're so used to eachother and just get on with the fact its an easy relationship to be in.

 

Now shes done nothing wrong when she questioned me about how I feel last night but I told her I feel distant and so on. We eventually said let's be friends (we go to barcelona in 2 weeks with 2 other friends aswell which is challenging but agreeed it wont be awkward). I have 2 voices in my head and no gut feeling. 1 voice is saying its going to get better, you'll move on and theres plenty of other people out there, you can flirt with girls. The other one is saying you lost a good thing there, imagine her with someone else you'd hate it, you dont know what you've got till its gone, lost a best friend and a girlfriend.

 

Its been a struggle at work today thinking about should I turn this around and I need some idess and help from some strangers which is weird but it helps. Thanks in advance.

[mannett]

It sounds like you still love her, but do you see a life with her ? Are you still in love with her ? Do you want to just enjoy your life as a young single man or do you feel you’d enjoy it more with her ? If the relationship was great, and the answer to those questions are yes and more with her. Then maybe you did make mistake.

[Dylan Banks]

It sounds like you still love her, but do you see a life with her ? Are you still in love with her ? Do you want to just enjoy your life as a young single man or do you feel you’d enjoy it more with her ? If the relationship was great, and the answer to those questions are yes and more with her. Then maybe you did make mistake.

 

Good question to be honest made me think about it differently. I dont plan to be with someone forever, I am only young but I've more than enjoyed my time with her and I'd remember all the time but sometimes things change for a good reason

[1tym]

You are just afraid of the change. Don't second guess it happened so go with it. Though I would suggest it you can get your money back for that trip I would try not to go with them. Just my 2 cents.

 

Because 3.5 year relationship don't go away in 2 weeks. It will be awkward. It'll be awkward for your friends as well. You guys are young and will probably do the night scene stuff. Some feels will come out man. I rather you stay away.

[Dylan Banks]

Yeah you've got a point, but the relationship between us 4 is mates anyway, we knew eachother before we got together and so did the friends. I was hoping 2 weeks away from her, then a holiday and see how we and if we can be civil. Plus were all in the same room anyway so sex wont be happening 😂

[11moreweeks]

Yeah you've got a point, but the relationship between us 4 is mates anyway, we knew eachother before we got together and so did the friends. I was hoping 2 weeks away from her, then a holiday and see how we and if we can be civil. Plus were all in the same room anyway so sex wont be happening 😂

 

Expect that being just friends with her will take more than 2 weeks away from each other, even with the same friend group. Honestly, your relationship was long enough that I think you should expect that to never work out. If it did, it'd probably have to take many years -- long enough where you're such different people that you have no basis being friends anyways.

 

I'd say probably go for a 6-8 month minimum before trying to have platonic get-togethers. All feelings.emotions are fake in the initial months following a breakup. Don't trust your feelings for several months.