So lonely

[Grad17]

I was having this problem before moving out and starting college, but ever since I got here it's gotten worse. I have an almost constant feeling of emotional loneliness. My mind and body are telling me how much they just want to be close to someone. I want so badly to have someone who is there for me and that I can treat like my whole world. I want someone to cuddle up next to and to be able to just enjoy each other's company. I want someone who cares and who isn't afraid to be honest with me.

 

I have been trying online dating for the last 2 months, but have only had one person respond. We ended up talking for about a month and went on a couple dates, but then she told me that we were only friends. It devastated me because I'd told her when we started talking that I wasn't interested in getting more friends. I already have plenty of really good, close friends.

 

Now I'm back where I started with an even more crippling sadness coming over me from this need to have someone. I've run out of ideas, I don't know anyone where I am and I've already asked out the only two girls I've ever felt emotionally close to. I'm just stuck with this sadness that I wish would go away and never return.

[john1565]

Can you try to make more friends and try to be more extrovert? I think it will help you. If you feel very bad, please consult with a psychologist.

[Minikimini]

I have an almost constant feeling of emotional loneliness. My mind and body are telling me how much they just want to be close to someone. I want so badly to have someone who is there for me and that I can treat like my whole world.

 

Hearing this, they may feel that they are just a replaceable gear in this machine--and any chick who'd give you that kind of time will do, not them in particular. You want someone/anyone to fill this role and they're picking up on that.

 

We ended up talking for about a month and went on a couple dates, but then she told me that we were only friends.

 

Yes, at this point in time, you are just friends--you're just a month into knowing them. You're placing a lot of expectations on a stranger to fulfill.

 

Expectations are future resentments under construction. Dial them back til your reality has developed the legs for said expectations to stand on.

 

If you're intimating on the first couple of dates you have with them that you want to make them your whole world, that is a bit overwhelming to someone who barely knows you and is getting to know you. This is something you wait to tell someone after knowing them +6 months.

 

I agree with john1565 above--you might benefit from talking with a therapist about your sadness and expectations.