Salt in the Wound.

[marigot]

Well, haven't spoken to the ex in just shy of six weeks. A friend and I decided to check out a new pub after work Friday night. So we get there about 5:30 and I happen to look up and I see my exes coworker. I didn't think much of it because I thought "Well, perhaps she lives around here."

 

Next thing you know, I see one of my exes coworkers whom I actually hung out with and was supposed to go to his wedding at the end of May (obviously not anymore)...this was getting weird.

 

THEN, I saw his best friend up at the bar ordering. I knew it then...my ex was there. Of all the pubs in Boston, his office was having some get together at this random pub that is miles away from where he works.

 

His best friend and coworkers were staring over at me. I was paralyzed with embarrassment, grief, nostalgia...you name it. I refused to leave because I didn't want him to think that he "got to me" or made me upset.

 

I couldn't bring myself to even look at him because I thought I would burst into tears. I felt like I was having a bad dream.

 

He (according to my friend) never looked over at me. She said he was smiling and laughing but looked incredibly uncomfortable and stiff. Bent over in posture.

 

Why wouldn't he say Hi? Why wouldn't he come over? Here it was someone that I had spent every single day with for five months and was so close with and now I'm invisible and a stranger. If his feelings were dead for me, then why the blatant effort to avoid me and never look over?

[kantore]

I know it hurts as to "why" he did not come over and say hello. But try not to analyze it to much, do your best to understand that it all happens for a reason. Then try and understand that although it has happened for a reason, you may not know that reason for years to come. But know that one day, when you least expect it, all of a sudden you will understand, and be better for it. DO NOT MAKE The same mistake as me.....do not be the person like me on this site still searching for answers. I was with my ex for 4 years, we have been apart for 3 and have not spoken in almost a year. I am still missing her, and have never been able to let go completely. I am the example of what not to be.....Do not be me....understand that life goes on, and great people are everywhere.

Kantore

[providentielle]

This must be so frustrating for you, you have been strong for 6 weeks then something happens that makes you feel like you did back at the start. It might be a blessing you didn't talk, try to turn it into something positive. Remember that you have moved on and dont need him, the best way to stop him getting to you is put it behind you, pretend it didnt happen and dont let this encounter make you feel how you did 6 weeks ago all over again.

[crashin]

Hey, sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to me two fridays ago. I was out at happy hour with some friends and looked in the dinning area only to see my ex with another guy. We were together for 3.5 yrs and have been broken up for about 4 months now. I think it was at 6 weeks nc when this happened.

 

It was just as I was feeling real good that I had to see her. Never thought my stomach could turn like that. It ruined my weekend but I bounced back and so will you. This is just the roller coaster ride of getting over someone.

 

I didnt react nor did I try to make contact. Your best move is to pretend like nothing happened and definitely dont use this as an excuse to contact him. The frustration will pass, trust me, mine did.