Loverosie Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Me and my ex broke up April last year, I broke up with him just a couple of days after my 21st birthday. I had broken up with him once before, throughout the 2.5 year relationship I had many doubts. Even though he treated me well and was a genuine nice guy, although he had done some things to upset me, such as ruining important events for me. When I broke up with him I felt sure it was the right thing to do, even though it was extremely hard, especially when he put his hand on my leg and I had to push him away. It must of seemed so sudden to him. I suffer chronic pain, anxiety and low moods, which I feel effected the relationship for me, I literally over thought everything to the point where I'd google signs of a unhappy relationship. I was at a low point when I broke up with him, unhappy in my job and within myself, I felt as though I forget who I was when I was in the relationship and just wanted to become single. From the day I broke up with him he blocked me on all social media, as well as his family, he cut me dead, which was the hardest part and still is. He got with a new girl just two months after we split, he's doing long distance and she looks so similar to me! A few months back I was unblocked on whatsapp and Instagram but not Facebook. Since this I can't stop checking his Instagram and looking at the pictures of him and his new gf. I texted him a few weeks ago saying I wished him well as I didn't say it and felt guilty for this, he then looked at my Instagram story shortly after. Since we split up I have grown by myself, new car, dream job, learning how to be independent as I lost my independence when I was with him, he'd do everything for me. Everyday I think of him, what he's doing, how he is, does he think about me, what would happen if I bumped in to him and how now we only work 4 mins down the road from each other. I keep thinking of memories we had, wishing I could be back with him and tell him everything about my day like I used to do. I've had a couple of dates since we split and I'm on online dating but I just feel disinterested, like no one will match up to him, be as understanding as him to my chronic pain etc. I don't know why I'm putting him on a pedestal now when I never did when I was with him. I feel that sometimes maybe the relationship was right but I ruined it by my anxiety and over thinking. Sorry for the long post, feels good to get it off my chest it's eating away at me everyday. Link to comment
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