Does he love her or me?

[kddmsu]

I was in a 2 year relationship that ended about 2 months ago and my ex has a new g/f. He claims that he loves this new girl, they have had sex, and she has met his family but I am not sure if she is just a rebound or not. The reason we broke up was because we were fighting towards the end and we probably needed a break but I was just irrational and just broke things off. Ever since then I have totally regretted what I did and wanted to make things work out, but he wanted to make sure that we were right for each other by testing the waters. Well he found this new girl but there relationship is long distance because he moved only about 2 hours away for an internship.

 

I had cut contact for about 2 weeks but he called me and told me that he missed me. We started talking about his new job...casual conversation... and I asked him if we could hang out sometime soon, and he responded saying "of course". I then asked how his g/f would feel about that, and he said that "he didn't care". Then I decided to be daring, and said that we should maintain a friendship and maybe start dating. He said that sounded like a good idea, but just a friendship right now, seeing that he is with this girl. Also he has told me on numerous occasions that he doesn't know what will happen in the future with us, or that we will get back together.

 

The last thing is, he moved away for this intership and knows no one where he is working. So I was wondering if he was just keeping this girl around so he isn't lonely?

 

So I want to know, what everyone thinks, do you think that he loves this girl? Do you think he still loves me? Am I a fool for trying to stay friends and winning him back, or should I just give up on it? Is this girl a rebound or do you think that he truley wants to be with her long term?

[Justinjigy2003]

Well, If He Is willing to date you again and be friends, I think he is in love with you.

[listener]

Before I answer any of your questions ask yourself this, really ask and wait for an answer, do you love this dude? Even as a friend or a brother? If the answer is no, then why do you care what he does? Yes, this girl is probably a rebound, if you broke up with him he might have been feeling hurt and lonely and decided that the best way to deal with it was to go and find some one else to show affection for. If you wan't i don't think that it will be to hard to get him.

[kddmsu]

He did say that he wanted to try dating again, but to work on the friends thing first. So when I said that we would try dating again, that doesn't mean it would happen while he is still with this other girl. I am just sooo confused. And I do love him more than anything, otherwise I wouldn't want to even put any effort forward. Listener what gives you the idea that I might not love him, just curious?

[Goose_04]

My guess (from personal experiences I'm going through right now...) is that he still loves you. But he's probably infactuated with this new girl. And he most likely doesn't know what to do. He is telling you what you want to hear in case he decides he wants to be with you, and is probably telling the new girl the same things in case he wants to be with her.

 

Don't think hes being a player or anything; he's just as confused (if not more) than you are. I'm going through the same thing right now. Just when I decide I want to stay with my gf, I wake up the next morning completely against staying with her. It's just so hard and confusing.

 

Think long and hard about if you really want to be with this guy. If you do, then fight to get him back. I think him seeing that you are trying to get him back so hard might snap him out of his problem. That's what has occasionally worked for me. Be cool, be caring, be nice, be funny, and above all don't be a B (you know what I mean...). If he decides to dump his new toy for you, then you can rest assured that he loves you. He wouldn't choose love over infactuation unless he was sure it's love. If he keeps his toy then oh well, he probably would have just ended up cheating on you anyway as he is more into looks than people.

 

If you want to swap relationship stories or just wanna talk more about it or anything my e-mail is email removed . Good luck with this and anything else you may encounter in the future.