friendship after breakup?

[HurtJozie]

Hey everybody,

 

I've been grapling with this issue for quite awhile now. My ex and I couldn't commit to a relationship because he didn't want one and I miss him alot and now wish I didn't push him away. I'm quite upset I've tried to get over him but I can't. It's been a month since we've broken up, for the first 2 weeks I had no contact with him, then we talked on msn (he said hi first), we spoke to each other at work he came early and hung around but then i went to his 21st because he invited me but the whole night he avoided me and he kissed a girl on the cheek the same way he used to kiss me. But then the next day he message me to thank me for the present and for coming. Has he moved on and here are the questions I would like some words of wisdom for:

 

- How should I act to get him back?

- How do we become friends, if we were never really friends and simply started dating?

 

Thanks Jo

[andyrosebringer]

hi, I think the best thing to do is to show him that you are ok with the breakup.. it sounds like the opposite thing to do, but you should be as happy as possible without him..

Human psychology is kinda funny like that. When you don't want someone back, you have much better chances of getting them back! This is because:

- they assume that you are popular enough to easily find another bf without trouble, u r more desirable

- they want you again because you don't seem to want them too much (!) they kinda want what they think they can't have

It's like everyone says - sending letters, sms, cards, flowers after a breakup will only push them further away. But it's so hard not to.. when I'm sitting at home alone I just want to call her and say how much I love her.. but that would be a dumb thing to do.

So get healthy, get happy, stay busy, and show (not tell) him that he made a big mistake!

 

Peace

0X

[HurtJozie]

That's awesome advice. How do I go about trying to be friends though. Because I've tried the msn thing, talking to him at work and going to his party but it's really awkward now and I don't know how to act. Like I act the same way that I used to act but his different and this kind of puts me off talking to him.