get back together with my ex or..

[suurahs]

I started dating this guy, let’s call him Joe, about two years ago. We always had a great time together and were really in love and saw a future together. This past summer, we became so busy that we decided it was best to break up because we didn’t have time for each other. Naturally, I began seeing and dating other people but nothing too serious. A few months ago, Joe came back into my life. He wanted a second chance at our relationship. I knew I still loved him and missed him so I gave it a second shot. Joe promised he would be better and treat me how I deserved to be treated. We’ve been dating again for a few months but I don’t feel like I used to in the relationship. I’m not sure if it is because we have been together for so long or what, but I don’t feel super infatuated or in love with Joe. I love him, love being with him, and he’s my bestfriend but sometimes I feel like he’s my bestfriend that I sometimes do intimate things with. There are other guys who are new to me and want to date me. I’m just afraid that ending things with Joe to move onto something more exciting will mean that I lose the man I am supposed to marry just because I feel like we are too “comfortable” together. Advice??

[mountaingirl]

Is everything else good other than the spark?? What would make this relationship more exciting? I agree that you shouldn't end things prematurely based on a lack of excitement. That generally can be worked on.

 

Are your needs being met? Have you ever read that book the five love languages??

 

Also, if you were to go on a trip away from him how would you feel? Relieved or like you miss him?

[Pretzel]

So you have 'grass is greener' syndrome.... I'd be careful of that. These new prospects might seem exciting, but if you've found your life partner, there's nothing that can compare to that kind of unconditional mutual love (IMO). I would definitely work on the relationship rather than jump ship because you are being lured into dating someone new.

However, as with anything, I do also think there is a line to this too. If you are REALLY not feeling it and that can't change, then there's no point in 'settling'.

 

But whatever you do, just be aware that it's very hard to recover from a second break up. One -yes. But TWO. It will just be too broken after that point. So if you take the decision to leave, you'll have to imagine it as final.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Wait, so are you seeing "Joe" and the other guys? Have you been out with any of the new guys more than once? Anyone you could see a future with?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Also you said Joe and you broke up because you didn't have time for each other, but then you said "Joe promised he would be better and treat me how I deserved to be treated." Was there more to it then just not having time for each other?

[WhiteLotus]

There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship with someone you can consider to be your best friend. Do you enjoy being intimate with him at least?

 

Your story sounds a lot like mine. My husband and I dated for a while, got busy and broke it off during the summer, and then got back together almost a year later. Since we met and started dating when we were in our late teens, I definitely suffered from “grass is greener” thinking, but I stuck with the relationship and I am soooooo glad that I did. Sure, every relationship has its flaws. But I am so thankful that I didn’t break up with my husband a second time. We’ve been married almost 2 years now and it is such a joy to be married to my best friend. We can always be ourselves around each other, and we truly understand each other’s feelings. When we have any sort of conflict we can work it out quickly because we understand each other so well.

 

What I am trying to say is, don’t give up on Joe just because there are other guys tempting you right now. If you truly feel that you love him and you love being with him, that is a very good sign for future success of the relationship. Good luck!

[suurahs]

There was kinda of more to it, towards the end of our relationship he wasn’t giving me the attention I felt I deserved because he was so busy which made me reluctant to date him again because I felt I might not get what I needed from the relationship

[suurahs]

Everything is good, but I think I could describe it as loving him but not being in love with him if that makes sense? The relationship is healthy but not satisfying I suppose. On a trip, I would necessarily be relieved or miss him. I would just be away

[mountaingirl]

Not satisfying? In what way?

 

Are you attracted to him? Do you enjoy sex with him and other intimacies? You said you are only sometimes intimate...

 

It sounds like he's making effort this time around but now, as it sometimes happens, instead of being happy you sound kind of bored and not really into him..