getting over being cheated on

[avocadoavocado]

Hello! This probably has been posted millions of times before, to be honest I know posting about this will make me feel better. It's been about a month since I've been cheated on and lied to by my ex boyfriend. I'm over him, but I can't get over the principle of being cheated on. I can't help but feel like I did something wrong and that is why I was cheated on. I keep going from extreme depressive episodes- and then to feeling like he's below me and doesn't deserve me. I've become addicted to working because when I work, I forget about being depressed and being lied/cheated on. I've devoted the time I'm not at work to studying. I just wanted to hear some advice on how to overcome this. It's the first thought I have in the morning and I've convinced myself that I'm never going to put myself in a relationship again because I can't trust someone knowing that they can cheat on you the entire time and lie about it. I know there are bigger problems in the world and I feel so guilty for being upset about my dumb problems. Hearing personal stories and advice might help me.

 

also. the relationship was extremely emotionally abusive... i would walk on eggshells around him and he was jealous/insecure although I gave him no reason to be. he was jealous of my job and didn't support my successes. I don't know why I cant get over the situation then. do people seek professional help over stupid, young relationships? I feel silly

[DanZee]

Well, when you said you were being emotionally abused, everything clicked. A lot of guys who emotionally abuse women also cheat on them. It's part of the syndrome. Abusing their gfs are a way of getting them to look the other way. Certainly you didn't do anything wrong. Part of the abuse is to make you feel that you did something wrong.

 

But as to why guys cheat, they cheat for different reasons than women do. Women cheat when they feel emotionally abandoned. They get a guy to fill that emotional void. Guys cheat because there's a girl around who wants to do it, pure and simple. To a guy, it's like going on an amusement park ride. That's why guys say, she didn't mean anything to me, while women rarely say anything like that. Cheating is much deeper for a woman.

 

The bottom line is to find a guy that loves and respects you. If a guy starts to abuse you, get out of that relationship as fast as you can. Cheating and abuse go hand in hand. You have a right to be upset and it's normal to take some time to get over it. Do try to keep yourself busy, and hang out with your friends to distract yourself. Eventually you will get over it.

[Optimism1234]

You feel like you did something wrong and that's why you were cheated? Please read this article, it'll help:

infidelityhelpgroup.com/2014/08/06/their-affair-was-your-fault/